Volleyball: not quite so cruisy

COLIN SMITH

ON THE BALL: Social volleyball player Julia Thompsett looks like she knows her digs and spikes.

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Charles Anderson lives a Top Gun dream. Kind of.

I had visions of Maverick. Tom Cruise, glistening in the hot afternoon sun. High fives. Low fives. Spikes, digs, and sand spraying in dramatic slow motion – all with the backing of a synthesised loop melody. It was to be a perfect 80s montage. But it wasn't.

Since that particular film scene, beach volleyball had always held for me a place on the podium. Between Top Gun and Russell Crowe's Gladiator, a young man learns all he needs to know about building character through vigorous blood sport.

Well, perhaps this wasn't so vigorous. But I did get sand in my eye at least twice. The social volleyball league at Tahunanui Beach is a place where things like that happen. As much as the word "social" is emphasised, put people on either side of a net and add a light inflatable ball, and the result is obvious. People like beating other people. If you make your opponent dive feebly into gritty sand or you belt a volleyball into someone's face, then all the better. It is survival of the fittest out there. But my team for the first training round was anything but fit.

However, we were duly trained by enthusiastic American volleyball guru Jace Hobbs, who schooled us on all the essentials – the dig, the set. We did not quite get on to the best bit – the spike – but he assured us next time, next time.

Teams of four were the order of the day, two at the back, two at the front. There is, apparently, strategy to getting that ball over the net in a timely manner. Unsurprisingly, my team did not take to the idea of strategy all that well. I was resigned to standing at the back barking orders like I am sure an airforce pilot-cum-volleyball enthusiast would.

My vision of launching in the air and pounding that ball deep into the sand never really came true. Firstly, I realised I could not jump very gracefully, and secondly, my team-mates were not the most co-ordinated players. However, thankfully, our opponents were even worse. Oh the joys of the undeserved win! We whooped, we hollered, we uttered triumphant and tasteless cliches. Undeserved and inappropriate high fives all round!

• Try This is a weekly feature in which a Nelson Mail reporter tries a new experience – or a new take on an old one – and reports back.

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