Update on the undead from science's bat-cave

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Fruit bat sex, zombie invasions and the psychology of bus stops: Kiwi scientists are gathering in Hamilton this week to explore some of the year's more unusual findings from the frontiers of scientific research.

The scientists, who meet sporadically to explore the latest ideas in science and technology at an event known as Cafe Scientifique, have abandoned the more serious scientific issues of the day for an end-of-year discussion about what it takes to mathematically model the consequences of a zombie invasion or just what fruit bats do during mating.

As fascinating as fruit bats and zombies are, it is a paper titled "Why Does Public Transport Not Arrive On Time?" that perhaps offers the most practical relevance to society.

That research was carried out by Mexican scientists who have proven what commuters have known since the advent of public transport: the longer you wait for a bus, the greater the chance that two will come along almost simultaneously.

It may help to know the scientific term for this is "equal headway instability phenomenon".

Better yet, not only have scientists studied the problem, they're also offering a couple of potential solutions. It can all be avoided, they say, "with appropriate passenger behaviours". In other words, you have the power to make the bus arrive on time.

That's because, the researchers say, technology alone won't solve the problem. Even with dedicated bus lanes and sympathetic traffic lights that turn green when a bus pulls up to an intersection, the bus still won't stick to the timetable.

Here's the secret: if passengers want buses to come more regularly they have to be better behaved.

The scientists recommend:

* Don't get on a crowded bus. If a crowded bus arrives after you've been waiting for ages, it's very probable that empty buses won't be far behind. Waiting might mean getting to your destination faster.

* Let people get off before you try to get on. Trying to "win" and get on before everybody else only causes more delays.

* If you do get on a crowded bus, don't stand near the doors. "Giving space to ascending and descending people will accelerate the travel."

Waikato University's Dr Marcus Wilson, who helps organise Cafe Scientifique, admitted that while the research was sound, the recommendations were an exercise in stating the obvious.

"But it does prove that it's not just our perception, it is actually true."

The issue Wilson is most keen on exploring at the scientific get-together is whether the bird that dropped some bread on the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland recently was actually sent from the future to sabotage the project.

Physicists hope to use the $14 billion, 27km-long atom-smasher to prove the existence of the Higgs boson, or "God particle", which appears to give matter in the universe its mass.

But the baguette - believed to have been dropped by a bird - caused serious damage.

Cafe Scientifique will discuss a theory getting wide airing on internet science blogs, that the bird came from a point in the future to prevent the Higgs boson being discovered.

As for the scientific conclusions on the projected effects of zombie attacks: disastrous. And fruit-bat sex? Let's just say if it was a movie, getting it past the censors would be an issue.

* Cafe Scientifique is open to the public and meets at Hamilton's The Bank on Tuesday at 7.30pm. www.sci.waikato.ac.nz/cafescientifique/

* Cafe Scientifique also meets in Wellington in Te Papa at Espresso on Level 4 on the first Thursday of the month (except Dec, Jan) at 6.30pm, and at Cafe Reka at The New Dowse, Laings Road, Lower Hutt on the last Thursday of the month (except Dec, Jan) at 6pm.