Finding a good use for Facebook

BY MATT LAWREY

OPINION: I know it sounds weird, but whenever anyone asks me why I'm not on a social networking website, I think of a kid I've never met from Taranaki.

You've probably never heard of Jeremy Donoghue, but I reckon he nailed the mood of his generation during the run-up to the 2008 general election.

National leader John Key was on the campaign trail when he visited Waitara High School and told its pupils his party would spend $1 billion on "super-fast broadband" that would allow them to access his Bebo and Facebook pages at a fraction of the speed and download movies more quickly.

Jeremy, 17, said: "Anyone over 40 that has a Bebo page is a sad, sad man."

I avoid social networking sites for many reasons, including the fact that I'm over 40. To begin with, I would rather hang out with people in person or talk to them on the phone.

I also believe there are good reasons you lose touch with old friends. Most of the time it's because you simply stop having enough in common with them to keep the relationship going.

Then there is the time. People spend entire evenings on those sites and I don't know how they do it. When I'm not working, I'm too busy changing nappies, putting out the rubbish and spending time with real friends in person to be messing around online with people I hardly know.

In fact, when it comes to relationships in general, I like to go for quality over quantity, which, from what I can tell, is the antithesis of Facebook's philosophy.

However, after the horror of Haiti, I'm prepared to concede that there is a place for such sites, and it's an important one.

Soon after Nelson's Emily Sanson-Rejouis lost her husband, Emmanuel, and daughters Kofie-Jade and Zenzie in the rubble of Port-au-Prince's Hotel Karibe, half a world away, in Nelson, their friend Jules Hobbs launched the Haiti Earthquake Sanson-Rejouis Family Fund Facebook page.

Messages of love and support for Emily and her surviving daughter, Alyahna, immediately began to flood in from family and friends all over the world.

They include posts from people Emily and Emmanuel had got close to working for the United Nations in places such as Kosovo, old school friends from Nelson, friends from Emily's days at the University of Otago and newer friends from Nelson. Many of them include photos of Emily, Emmanuel and their children.

Among all those messages are also the faces and thoughts of strangers – people so moved by the family's plight that they felt compelled to make contact.

Normally, I would be sceptical about this sort of thing, but some of those posts are deeply moving. Why? Because they are expressions of one of our species' most admirable qualities – empathy.

The most important messages come from Emily's sister, Rachel, who immediately headed for Miami with their parents, Roger Sanson and Jennie Wilson, when they heard about the tragedy.

I don't know Rachel well, but I know she is lovely and passionate about her family. Every day she posts updates on what's going on in Miami and Port-au-Prince. Best of all, she has been telling people how they can help.

Through Facebook, people who previously would have been unable to lend a hand can now make themselves useful, from anywhere in the world. In one instance, it was a request for help finding a cot for Alyahna; in another, Rachel was looking for a car for them to borrow.

In one post, she wrote: "Emily has asked for stories of people's positive memories of their time with Emmanuel, Kofie or Zenzie – please be encouraged to share – this is something Em feels will help her."

Each request has immediately been met.

In another post, Rachel wrote: "Thank you everyone who is uploading photos – Emily has lost everything, including all photos of the family, so these are invaluable."

The site is unlike anything I have seen before. It is a communication tool, a memorial, a wake, a celebration and a rallying cry. Most of all, it is an expression of love.

- © Fairfax NZ News