How not to get off a ticket

"People will sell their soul to get off paying for a parking ticket."

Invercargill City Council compliance manager Debbie McCallum has heard every excuse in the book, some of which are impressively imaginative, others totally bizarre.

One woman went to her local council, visibly upset at having to pay for a ticket when she said it was impossible for her to have been in the area when the ticket was issued.

"I was not parked there on this day. I was at home having sex. See, I have it in my diary ... and I have two witnesses," she was reported to have said.

The ticket was checked and found to have been issued on a day other than the one in her diary.

It was common for people to play the sympathy card, Ms McCallum said. One man's letter was particularly moving: "Any concession you are able to extend to an ageing and very apologetic parking criminal would be gratefully received. Sincerely, Al Zimers," it says.

Another man tried to win some pity by claiming to be colour blind after parking on broken yellow lines.

Someone thought flattering the powers-that-be might get the fine waived: "Thank you for your freshly written parking ticket alleging non-payment of parking fee. In fact, the fee was paid, (as it always is), but in my haste to get three children to school, chase the cat out from under the bed, hang out the washing, get to work and 'look calm', I left the stupid thing in my handbag. Please extend mercy, O Mighty Ones, and do not have me hanged just yet!"

One man was outraged after being ticketed for being parked in a disabled stop, when he was clearly displaying one of his crutches on the dash. Another, upon returning to his vehicle and finding a ticket, started kicking and punching the car and pulled the wipers off.

There were also some odd perceptions of how the parking enforcement staff went about their work, Ms McCallum said.

One woman thought when she put her coin in a meter it went down the pole and was sucked back to the council building. Another thought the staff had been issued with Tazers when electronic handheld ticketing devices were introduced.

And then there were the notes left on badly parked cars: "Dear blue BMW, You look rich, you should buy yourself some parking lessons," one note says.

Debbie McCallum said such incidents added a bit of flavour to the job: "I think if you can find something funny in the course of your working day it helps lighten the load, especially when you work in a regulatory environment."

- © Fairfax NZ News