Holden vs Forde

With a name like Forde, what was I doing in a Holden Super Car at Teretonga? Worse still, I drive a pushbike, writes Gerry Forde in this week's Southlander.

When two times national champion Andy Booth offered me a ride in his Big Ben Holden I took it. Well, it's not like Henry Ford left me anything.

The last time I raced on Teretonga was on my brother's trail bike. We sneaked in one night and when his mates dropped the chequered flag - a used hanky — I completed a beautiful 360 degree manoeuvre. I pulled back the throttle and the whole bike came with it and luckily landed fair on top of me — not a scratch on it!

As I climbed into the full car racing kit, I asked: "Is this fire proof?"

"And waterproof," said Booth.

Was he taking the Mickey out of our weather or ... ?

I had to commentate through the lap for radio.

"I'm not just a passenger, I'm the co-pilot eh Andy?" He shook his head because you can't nod in a helmet.

"Pretend you're on the main drag of Invers and some bogans have pulled up beside revving. Blow them away! Go Andy!"

The last time I'd said "Go" like that, my uncle's horse bolted across the home paddock and dumped me by the fence.

This was something else.

In a split second the word "Go!" was left fifty metres behind. So was my stomach. It was a free falling, out of control horizontal bungy.

A tiny bead of sweat crawled up my back.

I had to say something for radio: "Brake! Corner Andy!"

The world came rushing back to meet me. Then we hit the infamous Teretonga left hand corner — turning, turning, still turning!

I wished my little dog could have been here and poked her head out the window — peel her lips over her head!

I remembered my co-pilot role. "Right turn Andy!"

Too late. We were already onto the next left.

The final straight and the odometer's showing 201 ... 204 ... 209 ... 211. I shut my eyes.

At the end, I coolly offered some wisdom: "Andy, better check that high-pitched squealing sound in the engine."

"Yeh, the guy on the radio said that was all he could hear, too," he replied.

Final score: Holden one, Forde just happy to get back on his bike.

» Gerry Forde is the Venture Southland regional identity brand manager.

- © Fairfax NZ News