Reading lesson

OPINION: Which is harder: to read to a group of 260 children of all ages or to read to our two-year-old friend Rylee , asks Gerry Forde in this week's Southlander.

I chose a book for the Middle School assembly called The Boy with the Big Nose whereas I took Rylee to the library. The odds were 2000 books to one in her favour.

The key to reading a book to an assembly is to perform it. The Boy with the Big Toes! I read to the assembly. "No! Not toes!" they yelled back. "Sorry. The boy with the big hose," I replied. "No!" they yelled back even louder: "It's NOSE!"

Rylee, however, dashed passed 1000 books at the children's library and shot up a slide. I gave her a book. She sent it down the slide.

Each time the boy in the story sniffed, his nose grew bigger until it became huge.

By mistake he sniffed up his tomato soup, and outside he sniffed up (and I screwed up my face before showing them the photo) some ants, a butterfly and his pet rabbit.

The assembly erupted in gritty laughter.

Rylee flew off the end of the slide and stumbled into a bookshelf.

A cat book caught her eye. "Miaow! Miaow!" "Read book?" I pleaded. But then she spotted a dog cover and put the cat book back in the wrong place. I replaced it, and so we worked the lower shelves of the library without ever opening a book.

The Boy with the Big Nose sucked up the witch who had put the spell on him and she released him from the spell. His nose went back to normal. Then he started scratching his bum.

Rylee was drawn to a group of boys laughing at the PlayStation. To get their attention she took a random book over to a boy. He took it. "Read it! Read it to her!" I pleaded internally. It was a book on playing chess. Youngster was totally embarrassed.

The witch thought about putting a spell on the boy for scratching his bottom. "I can't show you this last picture," I told the assembly "Yes!" they pleaded. I gave in and showed them a picture of the Boy with the big bare bum. It brought the house down.

Whereas Rylee had binned the chess manual, sprinted passed another 1000 books, and was heading for the escalator.

» Gerry Forde is the Venture Southland regional identity brand manager.

- © Fairfax NZ News

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