Gale force

OPINION: This wind is doing my head in. I've been trying really hard not to moan to you all about it (people who moan about the weather have a special place in hell reserved for them as far as I'm concerned) but right now I couldn't care less, writes Sarah McCarthy in this week's Uptown Girl.

The wind has blown all of my resolve out from between my ears (and there is precious little sticking to the inside of my brain these days to begin with) and I'm about 5 seconds away from being the kind of person who yells about stuff as they walk down the street.

It doesn't matter how many calming crystals I stick down my bra, it's impossible to be rational when your hair is a mess, the wind sticks your clothing to your body as you walk down the street so you might as well be wearing a leotard, and you get bits of dust in your eye.

Although, actually, it's been windy for so long now that there is no longer any dust anywhere on the streets, it's all been scoured away like the Grand Canyon or something.

And you can't complain – like with earthquakes and rain there's no Council Bureau of Too Much Wind.

I was going to write a letter to the editor to complain – before I remembered that I have my own column and it's basically a long, rambling, mostly uncensored letter to the ed every week anyway.

So between the howling wind and the creaking roof and the wind chimes that are about 10 minutes away from going into the wheelie bin, I don't think I've had a decent night's sleep for 1000 years.

Unfortunately, neither has anyone else, and the city is like a powder keg of emotional instability with a one-track mind (on a road to nowhere, in a world of blustery conditions).

Never mind Yuletide, all anyone can focus on is getting around the place without blowing over or being hit by flying cows (I may be exaggerating but honestly it sounds like a twister is approaching even as I type).

I pity the shop keepers. Already buckling under the strain of their pavement signs blowing away every 10 seconds and their doors slamming, they also have to cope with having The Wind Conversation every seven and a half seconds.

I also pity all of the Burt Munro people coming to Invers this weekend expecting the warm people of the south and our famous hospitality – they're more likely to get a punch in the brisket and the fingers. And more wind.

» Sarah McCarthy is a Southland Times staff member.

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