Nightmare before ...

OPINION: It's hardly December and I'm already exhausted, writes Sarah McCarthy in this week's Uptown Girl.

Although my exhaustion stems less from stressing and worrying about Christmas and shopping and feeding the five thousand and then doing all the dishes afterwards and more from the fact that Mr mr was away on conference this week and I have basically behaved like a teenager left at home alone for the first time.

The first night I had too much wine and the second night I stayed up until well past midnight watching Twilight on DVD for goodness sake. (Don't ask, don't judge. These things happen. Even the cat was disgusted with me but not as disgusted as I felt with myself when I caught myself thinking that Edward was dreeeamy. Side note: I have the nerdiest friends in the world – my friend was explaining to his wifey about the guy who Robert Pattinson was the other day and he said, "You know, he's Cedric Diggory". Sad. For those left mystified by this exchange, thank your lucky stars.)

So I'm now tired as well as in the throes of the pre-Christmas tremble, days are slipping past, money is siphoning from my bank account and I have the horrible feeling that I'm going to go for lunch one day and come back to the office to find it's 9pm on December 24 and I'll have to do all of my Christmas shopping at the Night and Day on a budget of $6.75. Mind you, I have started my shopping: I've bought a fridge magnet.

I caught up with a pal the other day who says she makes all of her Christmas presents. Expecting descriptions of bung fudge shoved in a jar with the label still half on, she shocked my pants off with tales of monogrammed napkins and garden sculptures. I can't even make fudge, let alone a garden sculpture, and the closest I've got to making anyone anything was when I liberally and, as it turns out, over-enthusiastically flavoured a meal with lemon pepper seasoning in my student days and the entire flat had dreams about being murdered by a knife-wielding maniac.

I wish Christmas wasn't such a big drama. And I know people say simplify simplify bla bla bla and hell, I do. You know me – short-cut Katie. I have miraculously narrowed the Christmas present list down to four by appealing to everyone else's bacchanalian natures ("Wouldn't you rather we all just caught up and had drinks and a nibble instead, I mean , that's what it's all about, goodwill and cheer ") but still, a bajillion work deadlines loom (and after that a non-publication period that outlasts the amount of leave I have), then there are about 12 birthdays between now and the Big Day, plus the Work Do (that I have nothing to wear to) and somehow a play reading (which I haven't really read yet) so you'll forgive me for being a bit tight (although notice I still find time to watch horrendous movies and drink wine). I suppose the best thing for it would be to have a soothing drink and a lie down with a nice Magnamail brochure. Or maybe just a soothing drink. Absinthe is soothing, right?

» Sarah McCarthy is a Southland Times staff member.

- © Fairfax NZ News

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