In the face of conflict

OPINION: Beware the little comments from people that somehow stick, like the guy who asked of us: "You're not really using public transport in Los Angeles", writes Gerry Forde in this week's Southlander.

Later that day I boarded the 232 bus from Lax to Redondo Beach and all I saw were the bored faces of workers, old people and youngsters.

I was so absorbed in the beach scenery and Mexican-styled housing that I barely noticed the white woman, with ear plugs, sit down opposite a quiet lady. Suddenly the lady with the ear plugs erupted: "Stop harassing me! Driver, this woman is harassing me!"

There was a stunned silence where the other woman who looked as quiet as a mouse gasped and the rest of us looked on mesmerised.

"You're harassing me lady!" she accused.

The guy next to her with a Dalmatian accent, stood up for the accused lady.

"She did not harass you. Leave her alone."

This brought down a ton of abuse on the Dalmatian who objected: "I'm an American citizen. You have no right to talk to me like that!"

I felt an urge to intervene. After all I had travelled across the Pacific Ocean to learn Process Psychology, the king system for handling conflict.

I had nothing.

The woman now stood at the door and as it swung open she let rip with one last tirade of abuse and stepped out dramatically. I noticed a grin at the corner of her mouth.

She had given a pre-meditated performance.

The bus drove on in silence except for the muttering of the Dalmatian.

Then I noticed a silent tear run down the face of the accused woman. She continued to weep quietly.

At her stop she stood up, turned to the Dalmatian, a smile lighting up her face, "Thank you".

At the time I thought, this is the best and the worst of America – the madness, the aggression and the touching love among strangers.

Soon, as I joined the other 25 students on the Process Psychology course I found that we were all going through the same process as the quiet woman on the bus.

No one was attacking us but as we explored our reasons for being there, we were all stuck facing our fears, inhibitions and weaknesses.

It seems to be a human cycle to be broken, receive support and be reborn.

» Gerry Forde is the Venture Southland regional identity brand manager.

- © Fairfax NZ News