Sensing a messy problem

OPINION: At Redondo Beach, Los Angeles, I crossed a busy street at night and looked the wrong way, writes Gerry Forde in this week's Southlander.

I was almost hit by a car doing 60 miles per hour. If there had been an accident, the driver would have been unfairly blamed – he was Asian.

In the condo in Portland, Oregon, simple things get you, like the light switches that are on when they're up, and putting out the trash.

Upstanding ex-dustman, I left waste disposal to the Good Woman while I partied with mates from my psycho course.

Now the Good Woman gets claustrophobic living in flat Invers let alone Portland with its endless high-rises, and this may have weighed on her mind as she opened the door to the tiny trash room on our fifth floor.

The light came on automatically and a thought flashed through her mind – if it goes on by itself, how does it know when to go off?

She dealt with the recycling in her methodical way, came to the trash bin, and was about to figure out the handle, the lock and the buttons when the lights died.

She froze.

Panic rose from within. She needed to find the door and had no idea where.

With the courage of a woman who has survived four labours she took a hopeful step.

Immediately, the light flooded back. It was a sensor system.

She flew to the trash bin and tried her key in the lock. It didn't fit.

Time was running out.

She pushed the green button. The door never budged. She waved her arms in the air to appease the sensor. Then she pushed the button and turned the handle.

It worked.

Except her bag of trash was on the ground and she had no free hands. She grabbed the bag, held the handle with the same hand, pushed the button with the other and shook her left leg at the sensors. The light stayed on, the lid opened and the trash was sent on its way.

The Good Woman swept across the room waving her arms, grabbed the handle and was out the door. She ran outside for air and texted me. You can imagine the sort of backlash a dustman would get for putting his wife through that.

But here's the thing, I arrived just as she sent the text.

I'd sensed she was in trouble.

» Gerry Forde is the Venture Southland regional identity brand manager.

- © Fairfax NZ News