Beating the bullies

OPINION: From the playground to the workplace, bullying is something that, unfortunately, some people never manage to outgrow, writes Mary-Jane Thomas in this week's Work to Rule.

But proof for employees that they are the victims of bullying behaviour can be much harder than pointing to a black eye and a missing tooth.

Being legally undefined, "bullying" can encompass a vast, vague and complex array of psychological abuse, which can lead employees to their emotional breaking points or to stress-related breakdowns.

However, a 2007 report by the Hugh Downs School of Human Communication at Arizona State University – "How to Bust the Office Bully: Eight Tactics for explaining Workplace Abuse to Decision Makers", offers insight into how employees should approach their managers to give a credible, relevant and plausible account if they should become the victims of bullying on the job.

Remember, I have already said in previous articles that if you think you are being bullied, this has to be raised by you with your employer so they have the opportunity to do something about it.1Be rational:

Employers like to hear the reason the bullying occurs. A victim should tell the story in a linear style, beginning with the background to their relationship with the bully and why it deteriorated. By painting a full account, the report indicates employers are more likely to find the story credible and deal with it accordingly. 2Express emotions appropriately:

The report highlighted that victims should also try to recount their story calmly, describing their emotional reactions, not showing them. An overly emotional story may detract from the relevant, rational facts at hand. 3Provide consistent details:

A detailed and consistent story is a credible one. Otherwise, an employer may be left wondering: "what are they not telling me?". 4Be relevant:

No-one likes a rambler at the best of times, so a victim should aim to keep the story on the bully's conduct, not on their emotional response. If a victim's story can be corroborated by others at work, use it – this will further strengthen their credibility and displace an employer's "it takes two to tango" mentality. 5Emphasise your competence:

As a victim, you want to remind your employer that you are a valuable member of the team. A target of workplace bullying should make it clear that they did not passively accept this behaviour and explain how you tried to resolve the issue first. 6Show consideration for others' perspectives:

Respect that others may view the situation differently. Everyone knows their fair share of "whiny" employees, so a credible victim will need to recognise that, but point to why this is not such an occasion. 7Be specific:

Use clear, specific language. "He" or "she" will have names, use them. The last thing you want is to confuse them.

» Mary-Jane Thomas is a partner at Preston Russell Law. E-mail questions to mary-jane.thomas@prlaw.co.nz.

- © Fairfax NZ News

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Pete   #2   09:33 am Feb 07 2010

Bullies do what they do so that they can feel dominant and powerful. At the very first confrontation, don't give that to them! He/she will pick on an easier target. If they get what they are after, they will come back again and again. Victims actually attract bullies, without realising that they are doing it.

Running to tell Mum is a sign of fear which is exactly what the bully wants. They may lose their job, but will that stop them? It's always risky when you take a mentally unstable person's means of supporting his family away.

It should also be remembered that and idiotic comment coming from an idiot is a double negative. Therefore, it is a compliment.

Pat   #1   04:37 am Feb 07 2010

The best way to "beat the office bullies" is to avoid working with them in the first place. This website lets you see if there is any dirt on potential bosses before you work for them: www.eBossWatch.com

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