MOVIE REVIEW: Transformers: Age of Extinction. Starring Mark Wahlberg, Nicola Peltz; directed by Michael Bay
There is a fire breathing robot dinosaur.
I was tempted to write the shortest review ever, because that's really all there is to say about Transformers: Age of Extinction.
If you think fire breathing robot dinosaurs should be in a film about vehicles which become walking, talking robots, then you will probably enjoy this flick.
But it ruined it for me.
The fourth instalment from director Michael Bay did provide excellent animation, and there were enough smashing, crashing, and explosive scenes to keep me entertained through the three hour long marathon . . . until there was a fire breathing robot dinosaur.
Then I literally put my head in my hands and struggled to take the rest of the film seriously.
And it wasn't funny enough to just laugh about it.
I admit, I missed Shia Le Beouf, the main protagonist in the previous three films.
The main man in Age of Extinction is Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg), a washed up inventor and useless yet loving father.
But the relentless cliched dialogue and storyline meant I would not have cared whether he lived or died.
In fact there were so many underdeveloped characters that I struggled to care about any of them - except Optimus Prime, of course, who I love because I feel like I've known him since I was a little girl, not because his character was particularly fantastic in this film.
But then he rode a fire breathing robot dinosaur - which, by the way, was supposed to be a T-Rex (I think), but had horns.
So not even a real dinosaur.
One more complaint - after days on the run, our leading lady Tessa Yeager (Nicola Peltz), magically had pretty pink frosted lips.
I don't know about you, but if I get caught in a battle between Autobots and the US military, of course I'm going to stop to apply lippy.
My boyfriend told me there was good reason for this: "You've got to have something nice to look at."
I was too busy groaning while Optimus waved his sword about atop a fire breathing robot dinosaur.
- The Southland Times