THE GOOD: Who's this you ask? She's Nicola Peltz, the 19-year-old star of the latest Transformers film, she was in Bates Motel and she's setting fashion blogs on fire because she's so stunning. Oh, and her father Nelson Peltz is worth around $US1.65 billion - he owns a whole lot of Pepsi shares (I wonder if there's some thirst quenching product placement in Transformers?) - while her mother is a model who has 10 children. Oh come on, can someone get these people a reality show?! So, 19 and pulling off silk-organza Prada with crystal detailing. We may have found a new fashion star. (She's like Scarlett Johansson meets Amber Heard, just even richer).
THE GOOD: Pockets! I love an evening gown that makes pockets happen, and Keri Russell's J Mendel dress is certainly doing that. This is, wait for it, textured-lurex-jacquard, and I adore how the black and light silver hues give it a battered pewter effect (ooh, look, and the First Lady of Scandal is right behind her! Well she's had a tough year ...).
THE GOOD: In essence this is quite boring, but I just can't help it, I'm mesmerised by Angie Jolie in Atelier Versace (I just wish she'd chosen a different shoe, maybe a brightly coloured pump). PS: Are we thinking she had her ladies 'upgraded' after her double mastectomy? I say this without judgement and in a total, go-get-it-sister way. The proportions in that middle shot are very fembot.
THE GOOD: If I was in a television prison I'd definitely want Taystee to be my bestie. Or maybe Red, depending on how old I was when I landed in the clink. Anywho Danielle 'Taystee' Brooks looks stunning in this navy Terani dress. The colour sings on her, the subtle flare of the skirt is just right and I'm even, despite myself, liking her very tall hair. PS: Uzo 'Crazy Eyes' Aduba is also looking radiant in a vintage dress (and that lip colour is loco but in a positive way: crazy good).
THE GOOD: Diane Kruger basically always looks good, and this Roland Mouret number is no exception. The crop top-pencil skirt combo makes it very now, the polka dots add a girlish charm and those yellow Stuart Weitzman pumps and her mint green nails add bucket loads of interest. Score for Pacey.
THE MESHY: Li Bingbing managed to wear a lot of mesh in one week, and with varying degrees of success. To the left she's in Stephane Rolland, which is my favourite of the compilation, but is let down quite intensely by the fourth-form-science-project attempt at white blood cells around her crotch. In the middle the levels of mesh madness peak with this Erdem JUMPSUIT number that features beekeeper's legs. You know, just in case you really want to tend to your hive and yet still show off your pins. Then, to the right we have another Stephane Rolland which benefits from a fun hue and has so much potential but ultimately makes it look like she's working as a promotional girl for a paint company and is having to wear a giant colour swatch on her chest.
THE BAD: What's going on Ellie Goulding?! We have flesh-coloured leather separates in two slightly different tones and scary Emilio Pucci shoes that look like they were designed by Redfoo. This is all topped off with a neckline that would function perfectly as a holster for two ping pong paddles. And yet, oddly, it's ultimately that tiny and in-essence-inoffensive torso pocket that's pushing me over the edge. Oh, and the bad zip design that makes it look she might be 'flying low': not aspirational.
THE BAD: A Magic-Eye-tastic, headache-inducing pattern is one thing. Excessive bronzer usage is another. But, dear Jessie J, random flaps of material at the back of your T-shirt/dress hybrid, for me that's the straw that broke this geometric camel's back.
THE BAD: Elle Fanning in Alexander McQueen = a little girl who has decided to play dress up in her grandma's clothes. Except her grandma lived in the Edwardian era. Oh, and the little girl is no longer alive, it's the 21st century, it's the middle of the night, and she's just standing at the end of your bed.
THE BAD: This must be from Cheryl Cole's wear-in-case-my-wheat-intolerance-plays-up-and-the-whole-gut-just-swells-uncontrollably wardrobe. The colour's gorgeous, and it's hard to make this woman look bad, but her stylist is certainly giving it a red hot go.
THE BAD: I think this is the definition of the dress wearing the person rather than the person wearing the dress. Frothy, sheeny and oppressive all at once. Oh, FYI, this is Charisma Carpenter, aka Cordelia Chase from Buffy and Angel - who did suffer from evil mind control for a while there, so maybe that's what's going on with this goth Disney Princess look.
THE BAD: It's unfortunate that they've chosen the colour of pus for the details on Arianne Zucker's dress: it's like she's just popped a couple of boils en route. Or perhaps she's in the middle of some sort of Minority Report metallic spider takeover and is just smiling through it like a pro? 'These pesky dystopic arachnids certainly aren't going to ruin my big night gosh-darn-it!'. (PS: For all of you who like to limit their TV watching to post-the-6-o-clock-news, Zucker's from Days Of Our Lives).
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