Craigslist can often set you rocketing into a pit of despair at the humanity, from the jars of bellybutton lint for sale to the human sized hamster wheels. But then you remember that on Craigslist you can buy and sell everything, and it is the marketplace for people who think outside the square.
Like this genius woman who is offering her services as a "professional bridesmaid". And leaving everybody in her dust wishing that they had thought of this.
Who needs a professional bridesmaid you might ask? What kind of functioning person with people in their lives hire a professional bridesmaid?
Let the woman speak for herself, as she writes in the ad:
- You don't have any other girlfriends except your third cousin, twice removed, who is often found sticking her tongue down an empty bottle of red wine.
- Your fiancé has an extra groomsmen and you're looking to even things out so your pictures don't look funny and there's not one single guy walking down the aisle by himself
- You need someone to take control and make sure bridesmaid #4 buys her dress on time and doesn't show up three hours late the day of the wedding or paint her nails lime green.
Doesn't it all make sense? Especially when you consider how fraught weddings can be? A professional bridesmaid can do all her bridesmaid duties, wear a dress she hates with nary a tiff or a taking it all personally because you're not actually friends. The stakes are low.
As the professional bridesmaid says herself, bridesmaids are asked to do a lot, and sometimes isn't it best left to someone with zero emotional investment and who you'll never see her again?
Here is what the professional bridesmaid can do for you:
- Holding up the 18 layers of your dress so that you can pee with ease on your wedding day
- Catching the bouquet and then following that moment up with my best Miss America-like "Omg, I can't believe this" speech
- Doing the electric and the cha-cha slide
- Responding in a timely manner to pre-wedding email chains created by other bridesmaids and the Maid of Honour
Sure, you want to spend your 'special day' with those closest to you, but wouldn't it be better to have them sitting in the front pew, watching you get hitched with misty eyes, and love - and a small kernel of envy - in their heart?
Think about it.
You can see the ad here
- Daily Life