I can perform behind the wheel

Reporter Alana Dixon is The Southland Times Uptown Girl columnist.
Reporter Alana Dixon is The Southland Times Uptown Girl columnist.

A lot of people quite enjoy spending a few hours behind the wheel of a car. I am not one of those people, writes Alana Dixon in Uptown Girl..

I just don't really like to drive. I did for a while but the novelty wore off pretty quickly.

Maybe my lack of love for driving is down to the fact I was a pretty late bloomer.

Not being able to drive has proven quite handy in years gone by ("hey, sorry guys, but I couldn't possibly sober drive everybody this New Year's Eve, as my licence conditions prohibit me from doing so without a fully licensed front-seat passenger – any takers?"), and equally inconvenient in other situations (like when I wanted to, you know, go anywhere.)

As much as I love my wee Bessie – so much so that the thought of selling her somewhere down the line actually made my eyes well up once – I know she will probably have a much better home if she belonged to somebody who uses her for more than just getting to and from work each day. It's kind of like the farm that elderly pet dogs suddenly disappear to.

I especially don't like to drive when it's pitch black, or raining, or worse, which as you can imagine poses quite the quandary considering I live in Invercargill.

Driving in the winter is no fun at all. It requires a lot of concentration and quite frankly I have better things to do while sitting in a car.

That's right. Singing. As in, belting out Dominion Road or Adele at the top of my lungs.

This activity requires a lot of hair-swinging and emotional closing-of-the-eyes, which means it's not such a great idea if your foot is on the accelerator.

I love a good sing-along at the best of times, but there's nothing quite like hitting all the high notes to brighten up an otherwise dreary drive on the most boring stretch of road known to mankind, otherwise known as State Highway 1 from Invercargill to Dunedin, a road I have travelled far too many times to count.

Sure, a moving vehicle is probably not the best place to get your karaoke on. The acoustics pale in comparison to those you get in the shower, and the changes in external noise when you go from tar seal to whatever else roads are made of these days can require constant adjustment of the volume dial.

But I love it nonetheless.

A friendly tip – if you ever get exasperated with the motorist sitting motionless in front of you at that set of lights that have just changed from red to green, check to see if they are writhing rhythmically in their seat, and give them a quick toot.

I probably just can't hear you. April Sun in Cuba came on.

The Southland Times