OPINION: Ever wonder what's happened to all those beautiful tiara-wearing girls crowned Miss Caroline Bay 1947, Miss South Canterbury 1953, Miss Friendship 1962 or Miss Horowhenua 1967, asks Pat Veltkamp Smith in And Another Thing.
If they are given them to keep, they wear those pretty diamante tiaras as wedding-day coronets anchoring a veil, and look amazing.
And then what?
I thought I had cracked it recently, when I saw more than 50 women wearing sparkly tiaras in silvery hair.
But they were Royal Diamond Jubilee lunchgoers who were celebrating the Queen's 60 years on the throne.
The invitation said tiaras optional, and half the 100 women attending wore them, from the $2 shop they said.
I was amazed. I truly thought them the golden girls of yesteryear.
Not so, they said, just members of the Southland women's club being entertained to a celebration lunch put on by the club's past presidents.
Nothing past about that lot.
There were two Annes, two Bettys, two Pats, a Hap, a Helen, a Hazel, Wilma, Kathleen and Frances.
My namesake, Pat, I do remember as Miss Plunket, but she had eschewed a tiara and came as she was.
One Anne is the current president, so she, too, was without a tiara, settling for a sexy-looking black fascinator.
Wilma adjusted her tiara and said grace, Kathleen took hers off and made everyone laugh with tales from hatted royal encounters at proper garden parties to casual kilted royals at the Highland games.
Helen chaired the function and led us in singing God Save The Queen, marvelling at how she's getting up there, thinking how we are getting up there too.
The clubrooms were decorated with the royal theme, books of photographs of Her Majesty from infancy, royal commemorative ware from engagements to birthday, wedding and coronation mugs.
Our menu cards specified brown windsor soup. We had croutons and, later, little silver cake forks.
The waiting staff wore starched white aprons over black dresses and white bands around their hair, while the on-stage models wore the beautiful formal evening gowns which spanned Her Majesty's era.
I did a two-hour round trip in snow to be there.
Her Majesty spent four hours in the rain on the Thames.
I wouldn't have missed it for anything.
I hope she felt the same.
» Pat Veltkamp Smith was Southland Times women's editor until 1997 and is a former president of the Southland Justices of the Peace Association.
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