Need to free yourself of emotional clutter? Mind detox therapist, master practitioner in neuro-linguistic programming and personal coach, Debbie Spellman has five tips to detox your mind this Spring.
Spring is a perfect time to renew and re-energise the mind, body and soul for the coming months ahead. This involves letting go of that which is no longer serving you and shifting your perceptions to experience more peace of mind every day. For it is not what happens to you but the way you react to what happens which determines your happiness.
1. Notice The Way You Talk to Yourself
Do you encourage yourself like you would a best friend when things are a little tough or do you beat yourself up? The way you talk to yourself on a daily basis is creating your feelings, moods, actions and behaviours, therefore your results in life. Start by changing the way you talk to yourself and notice the dramatic difference this makes in not only your peace of mind but how you feel.
Next time your inner enemy pipes up with negative talk, acknowledge this voice, thank it for it's opinion, recognise it is only referencing your past and trying to keep you from being emotionally hurt or rejected again. See this voice as a younger, more in-experienced version of you... show kindness, reassurance and love to this part of you... then as the older and wiser self, choose not to listen.
2. Let Go Of The Past
As we get older more and more emotional baggage is stored within our sub-conscious mind and body. Memories of repressed emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt, shame and resentment are being held beneath the realms of your conscious mind. Until you identify and release these emotions from about past they will continue to affect your thoughts, your interpretation of life and perhaps eventually your health and wellness.
It's so important you find peace with your past by releasing and letting go of your negative associations about what has happened to you.
3. Change The Meaning
To detox your mind is not to change or control what is happening in your life but to change your relationship towards what happens. In other words it is not what happens to you in life that causes all of your stress and suffering, it is the "meaning" you give to what happened. It's the stories you create in your mind that causes you to feel angry, upset or frustrated.
The reason you react is ultimately because you feel on some deeper level that you are not loved, good enough, worthy, deserving etc. Next time you go to react ask yourself "why am I so upset?" Or "what is it about X that is causing me to get so angry?" If you keep digging with "why" what you will discover is what I call the "root-cause" of your emotional reaction. A secret. . . it is always about you. It's never about what happened. From this place you can soothe yourself by giving yourself what you need - instead of trying to attain this externally through another person, relying on them to make you feel appreciated, loved or accepted.
4. Stop The Stories
Do you find yourself worrying, predicting and creating future scenarios in your mind that have not even happened yet or replaying past memories? Are you guilty of jumping to assumptions and creating an entire fantasy of a future event? This may include every word you are going to say, how that other person will react and then how you will respond.
This gives you a moment of peace as you feel you know exactly how that scenario will play out and you are ready to action this plan! The trouble is you become caught up in the stories of your own mind and miss out on the peace, productivity and freedom that comes from living in the present moment. The emotional fantasy we create in our minds takes us through a range of negative emotions which only makes it more real. We then find out the truth only to have experienced days of painful emotions and anxiety.
To prevent stress, anxiety and negativity, any time you notice your mind creating a story about the past or future. Stop! Bring yourself back to the present moment as outlined next.
5. Live In The Present
You may hear this all the time - "live in the present, it's where life happens" and you know what? It is right! Yet it's not until you really grasp this in every cell of your being that you fully experience the peace and freedom of present moment living. Through strengthening your awareness by following the above points you will begin to find you can create space between your thoughts and your responses.
From this place it becomes much easier to observe the constant chatter in your mind and emotionally detach from this self-talk. I believe it is within this space that present moment living lies, where the voice in your head can and will chatter along like your next-door neighbours radio yet you remain distant and detached enough to not react, respond and buy into this self-talk.
Take a moment now to hear all the different sounds, notice the taste in your mouth and the smells in the air, notice how the things around you feel and really look at the detail of what is in front of you. Feel yourself in your body. Do you notice how your mind has gone quieter?