Heartache leads to happy life
What's your worst break up ever? Our readers are sharing their stories from the heart.
I met him at my first party in high school. I felt like such a rebel out on a Friday night with my older sister.
I had grown up in a very strict household and had only recently moved in with my birth parents who were a lot more carefree and didn't really care that I was only 15 and out roaming.
Let's call him K. He was 18, in the school band. We became fast friends and started dating not too long after. He was your typical bogan teen: long hair, didn't wash often and lived by Metallica's Black album. He was sweet and kind and seemed like the most amazing person ever. It wouldn't be too long until I found this wasn't true.
Four years later and we were living together, renting our own flat. We were both holding down menial jobs, broke but seemingly happy.
He started to become insecure about his appearance. No matter how many times I reassured him I loved him for himself, he was hell-bent on changing into something else. He started buying only the latest trend clothes, going to clubs and bars every weekend with his drugged-up mates while I worked overtime on my second job to make our rent payments.
I know people change over time, but I would never have anticipated what was about to happen.
My mother always told me to trust my gut instinct so when I suspected my partner and best friend of diverting his affections elsewhere, I pounced on it.
He started coming home late and guarding his cellphone like a dog with its bone. Alarm bells went off.
One night I came home after work and he was sitting in our bed. He quietly said 'I don't want to be with you anymore' and calmly got up and walked out. His packed bag was by the door.
I was completely shocked. Our relationship wasn't perfect by any means, but (I thought) we were solid after being together for ages. I pleaded with him over the next two weeks to try and talk to me to fix whatever it was that he thought I'd done.
I was heartbroken as the man I loved turned his back on me like I was nothing more than a stranger in the street.
I found out about a month later that he had started a new relationship with my awkwardly naive co-worker who K thought was the best thing ever. I was enraged.
After many crying sessions with my friends I realised it is what it is. He had moved on and I was left with a huge hole where my heart was.
So I moved out and back into my parents' home to heal my wounds. 'Our' friends became 'his' friends and I was flabbergasted at the rumours he started spreading about me.
It was a few weeks later when I would find out he had been seeing her while we were together. He had even invited her over for lunch and to watch a movie while I was working a double shift.
Three months later everything changed again. I realised I was pregnant.
It was a huge smack in the face at first because I had just gotten over hating K. My family were shocked and disappointed. I felt like crawling into a hole and eating marshmallows till I couldn't eat any more.
When I told K he was at first shocked, and then supportive. He said he'd be there every step of the way and even bought a tiny pair of shoes. He assured me that his new girlfriend wouldn't come into the equation; that she was just a bystander in the matter.
By the time I was six months pregnant, he had decided that the baby couldn't possibly be his and that his girlfriend didn't like the idea of shared parenting.
So he stopped all contact and refused to talk to me. Personally I didn't really mind that he took this stance. I mean, what was I supposed to expect from a douche who'd left me for a tree branch?
So I packed up and moved three hours away to live with my sister. Not too long after, my beautiful daughter was born. She had his dark hair and my eyes. She was perfect and she was mine.
I loved her more than I ever loved myself. Over the first few months of her life, I struggled with the sleepless nights and change in routine but I was happy. I was a new parent.
Unlike K himself, his family was very supportive. His mother always kept in contact and to this day we still catch up for coffee when I'm in town as she dotes over her first grandchild. K doesn't want to meet our daughter and I am completely OK with that.
When my daughter was a few months old, I met someone new. He was smart and successful and blew me away with his honesty.
We became fast friends and soon after fell in love. We have been married for almost a year and now live on a farm in the Waikato. He works in the paddock and I look after our two small children.
I would never have imagined being this happy. If you had told me three years ago that I would be a happy housewife on a farm in the Waikato then I'd probably say that you should be checked for concussion or something.
Last I heard, K was still with the branch, still at his menial job living in his mother's spare bedroom going nowhere fast.
I realised long ago that hating him hurt me and not him, so I learnt to let go of it. One day, he might decide that he wants to meet the child he helped conceive but I highly doubt that'll be any time soon.
So if you ever think things can't get any worse think again. Because chances are life will throw some more crap your way. But what you need to keep in mind is that it is always darkest before the dawn.
I finally have my beautiful dawn.