reader report

How do you tell a friend they're fat?

20:21, Feb 27 2014

How do you say to someone that you have noticed they have put on weight?

It might be someone really close to you or an acquaintance. Either way, it's tough.

Maybe they have been steadily eating comfort food or drinking calorie-laden drinks for any number of personal reasons.

How do you tell them that you are worried about their weight gain affecting their life, be it physically, mentally or both?

You don't want to hurt their feelings, but at the same time you want to help them, and perhaps even save their life.

You can't blurt out: "Gee, what made you so fat?".


You might think it, but there is no way you'd say it.

You might comment on it to someone else, and talk about them behind their back. You might discuss how their husband has been having an affair, or how they have an injury, or how they may be suffering from a lack of self-esteem, but what are you going to do to help get them back on track?

When you are overweight, the weight gain affects your health, self-esteem, self-confidence, happiness, mental wellbeing and more.

In 2014 we have a lot more challenges to overcome to keep healthy and trim. We eat so much more sugar per person per year than we did 100 years ago.

When you combine this with eating far too much fat as well, you can see how easy it is to put on weight without realising it.

It doesn't take long to put on weight when faced with today's abundance of high sugar and high fat foods. I had to take my size eight bodychain out a link after the Christmas/New Year celebrations.

This link represents 2kg. It takes a lot longer to take off those 2kg and take in the link again than it does to put it on.

The trick is to not let the one link turn into two or three or even four links out.

So back to my original question: How do you talk to someone about their weight? How can you help them?

You could say you need a walking buddy, and see if they want to come for a walk.

You might have a DVD that you could exercise together with or Facetime or Skype with.

You might help by just talking and seeing what is troubling them. A trouble shared is a trouble halved.

I have spent the last 17 years helping people with their weight but I have still not found the best way to let someone know I care about their health and wellbeing, and a lot of that is to do with being a healthy weight.