Best & worst dressed celebrities
THE BAD: Ana Maria Braga is a Brazilian TV personality, and while I'm very impressed with her ab firmness (she's 65 folks) I could do without having seen the underside of her bosom. This outfit needs about 1,000 more sequins in order to not be emotionally scarring for the viewer. Is anyone else getting Sharon Osbourne-Raquel Welch mash-up vibes from Ana?
THE BAD: While yes, her Georges Chakra gown is a bit much - sequins and lace in one look? - it's really Jewel's badly-contoured cleavage that gets her in the worst dressed. Her makeup artist did such a wonderful job in the facial region but seems to have gone a bit OTT with the airbrushing gun on the singer's lady lumps making it look like Jewel is actually standing behind one of those wooden cutout people (aka, like her boobs are 2D trying to look 3D).
THE BAD: It's like Strictly Come Dancing and So You Think You Can Dance star (aka, reality dance show all-rounder) Katya Virshilas' right breast is protesting against this suede jacket and trying desperately to liberate itself.
THE BAD: I'm getting Dynasty vibes up top and I've-pulled-my-pants-up-so-I-can-stroll-in-the-ocean energies down below. This 'shirt' - although it can't really be called that, can it? - is by Philosophy. Naya Rivera, 27, is so beautiful and yet the way she styles herself means I always think she's a Real Housewife of So-and-So in her 40s when I glimpse her in thumbnail pictures.
THE BAD: Behold Shakira in Zuhair Murad - girls hips don't lie, but her stylist does. The singer gives off a certain cool attitude that means she can pull off almost anything, but not this. A) It's like a scene from Hannibal in which some dude obsessed with Rorschach tests has done something pretty wicked to a victim's navel. B) I know illusion dresses will never go away, but can we sign some sort of treaty ensuring nude stocking material never has reason to touch a woman's stomach ever again?
THE GOOD: A lot of blogs etc were saying 'can Cam just STOP with the mini dresses already?!' but I'm all, 'hell no! anyone with legs like that - let alone at 41 - should be legally required to wear a disproportionate amount of minis'. PS: To the left we have embellished Emilio Pucci and to the right we've got beautifully-draped Elie Saab. There have also been complaints about her love for nude shoes - but c'mon folks, they only serve to make her legs look longer, Cam-Cam knows the tricks and good on her for it!
THE GOOD: While the lighting in these pictures is a bit 'the-dude-I-met-in-the-mall-said-he-could-make-me-famous-if-he-could-just-take-some-pictures' and not exactly flattering, I have no doubt that South African model Candice Swanepoel (how do you actually pronounce that name, 'swan-e-poh-ellle'?) would have looked absolutely breathtaking in real life in this yellow Valentino. I love that she's gone for simple, barely-there makeup and an easy up do and so let the neon gown do all the talking.
THE GOOD: Faith Hill manages to make a super low-cut Saint Laurent dress look demure - that's a skill only a country gal with a voluminous blow wave could posess.
THE GOOD: While I dig Jennifer Garner's Max Mara jumpsuit because it really flatters her form and looks can-carbo-load-and-then-suck-out comfy, this look is all about her hair and makeup - that's the best dang ombre I ever done seen and the picture to the right is making me want to get my white eyeliner out again and experiment (last time I self-applied white eyeliner people kept saying ... 'erm, you've got a little something ...', pointing to the crusted bits of liner that had formed into something thrushy looking in the corner of my peepers. Not fun.).
THE GOOD: I love how Kate Upton is channelling a 90s supermodel in a Revlon ad in this Fendi dress ... and pulling it off. A) Red is definitely her colour. B) I LOVE her retro waves. C) This dress would definitely be 'meh' without that cool geometric pattern. D) A lot of other commentators said they didn't like this as it was boxy and unflattering ... erm?! So because we can see that the women actually posseses hips and breasts it's a no? Pipe down!
THE GOOD: Here's Taylor Swift giving herself double side eye but looking fabulous while doing so. This J Mendel is a nice modern direction for her - I was suffering from nude and silver spangly gown fatigue with Swifty. Also, girlfriend rocks the bob ... and the orange lipstick ... and the turquoise eyeshadow. Yep, she looks fierce and thus can continue to throw herself shade.
I'M-JUST-NOT-SURE: Love Emma Stone (she's like the thinking woman's J-Law), j'adorbs those cigarette pants and like the idea of masculine tailoring ... but the reality of this Saint Laurent jacket reminds me of the times my brothers used to put on dad's jacket, stand on each other's shoulders and pretend to be a giant man.
In this week's gallery of the best and worst celebrities Taylor Swift moves in a new direction, Kate Upton is, well, Kate Upton and Shakira has a shocker.
We haven't touched upon the Duchess' NZ looks yet as
we're all over those in a big way here.
We only bring you the horrors and the hits from the red carpets and only cover events where celebrities know they'll be snapped and critiqued for their fashion (so no Britney leaving Maccas in her trackies.) Why? Well because all humans - even celebs - should be allowed to look rubbish while packing a Quarter Pounder.