A loo roll checking disorder

PAT VELTKAMP SMITH
Last updated 11:06 25/07/2014
Pat Veltkamp Smith
JOHN HAWKINS/Fairfax NZ
Columnist Pat Veltkamp Smith was Southland Times women's editor until 1997 and is a former president of the Southland Justices of the Peace Association.

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OPINION: Y ep, I do like having the last word, whether it is goodbye, thank you or I love you.

But it is curiously hard to get that last word when your supposedly definitive thank you elicits a response, such as "not a problem". That calls for "hope not" - which opens the way for more of the same.

Ouch; so painful: this can become tit for tat until it feels like the the other person must be like you, slightly obsessive about getting the last word. It is something of an obsession and discomfiting to realise you share it with others.

You know you share other oddities because, face it, someone is putting toilet rolls up the wrong way round and instead of the paper tumbling towards you joyously, welcoming even, instead of that it crawls out from under, grudgingly.

It is like this in lots of places and I always change it and yet if you go back again, say over time at the movies or the pub, it is always put on again the wrong way and you think well really, why don't people like that get a grip, get a life et al?

Of course you cannot say any of this, just look around who's here and wonder who's so mad as to go and change a toilet roll so the paper sneaks out from under instead of rolling off from the top.

Anyone "looking for an interest" - and yes, we have to wonder what normal person is looking - then this could be it, checking loo rolls.

No, I do not seek them out but you cannot miss a misplaced roll: you realign it and go back within two or three hours or so and it is round the wrong way again - it makes you think, it really does.

Like they say it takes all sorts - but you wonder why?

As the last word approaches I think of letting it go. Truly.

On the phone you say thanks and goodbye and get it back, and do it again. Or at the store you say thanks and they say not a problem and you say glad about that and they'll repeat no problem . . .

Look, talk again next week . . .

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- The Southland Times

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