I'm probably not an ideal woman

22:59, Jan 19 2014

She's a hard road finding the perfect women, but an ideal one not so much.

As the sun was shining for the first time in more than a month and the rain had finally buggered off, myself and a couple of the girls headed down to the Browns Sports Day for our usual antics.

This year, was a time for me to be courage and pull up my socks (so to speak) and have a go at the ideal womens comp.

Now, as you all probably know by now I don't mind a bit of mud, or getting my hands dirty and having oh so much self confidence is something i do well at but this was a challenge and a half.

The tasks at hand...

1: Reverse a big red motorbike with a trailer after completing a course and picking up some hay bales. EASY... Wrong. Jack-knifing a trailer three or four times was easy, throwing my toys was even easier and storming away cursing words that even Satan shouldn't hear was the easiest.


So that was a fail.

2: Sack race, pop a bottle cap with a lighter, skull a lemon lime and bitters, bob for apples, egg and spoon race and nail a nail. Easy as Pie, WRONG AGAIN. Sack race flew by, popping a cap, well for someone who worked in a pub let's say I wouldn't advertise it. Sculling warm fizzy drink... yeah, no. Give me a beer and I'd see you at the bottom but I think most of it ended up coming out of my nose.

Bobbing for apples was great, rather refreshing and the egg and spoon race, I was on fire!

Then came the nail, my father with be absolutely horrified, actually my whole family would. Lets just say I won't ever be a fencing contractor...ever.

3: Put up an electric fence and chuck on some ram harnesses, wasn't as cocky but still thought I'd be okay. Well this time I was right.

Having sheep shit between my toes reminded me of my younger days.

So I may not be the worlds most ideal women, but it was all a large amount of fun. 

Image: Blogger Nicole Sharp, left, with friends Brittney Davis and Katie Brock after competing in the Ideal Woman Comp in Browns this month. 

The Southland Times