The naffest cricket merchandise...ever

Now here at Beige Brigade HQ we like to think we have a prominent presence in the lucrative market segment of 'naff cricketing merchandise' (we're particularly proud of the jandal sock phenomenon sweeping through expat Kiwi London), but to be honest we have a hell of a long way to go - so many missed opportunities...

Some of the merchandise out there would bring a tear to your eye - especially if it makes it on to your Christmas present list. Here are top 5 items to stow along with your braai supplies when you are heading to Centurion this weekend.

#5: OK, so you may need to rustle up the generator for this one but look at the preposterous state of it! The Connect TV Plug & Play game is the best $100 you will ever spend my friend.

#4: Puff your chest out with this Indian cricket supporter's brooch. Inspirational and possibly about as politically correct as a golliwog. Who is the all-rounder (left-handed batsman right-arm bowler) this is modelled on?

#3: The Lord's tea towel. The old classic makes the list because it is just so handy - yes the world's favourite linen item cannot be ignored. And the pictures on there really are terrific - are they actually photos?

#2: Don't forget your strobing, glow in the dark South African supporter's disco hat: 100% ridiculous. Just what you need to stand out in the enormous crowds attending test cricket in South Africa these days.

#1: Of course you could trump all those at the ground if you still have one of the most annoying cricket accompaniments ever invented - the Danny Morrison duck-caller. No photo as none still exist, most ending up on the concrete steps of the terraces at Eden Park, torn from the lips of pre-pubescent children and mercifully stomped into smithereens before their eyes with hundreds cheering on.

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Paul   #1   12:38 pm Nov 14 2007

Wow! Number 5 looks awesome, much better than that shocker Shane Warne cricket a few years back.

Carrot   #2   11:01 pm Nov 14 2007

I once received an Incrediball (the ball with a speedball radar in it) for Christmas and was able to crank it up to 160 clicks. In the end however both ball and bat were broken by the end of Boxing Day. Anyway I am off to find a demo set of that cricket game, I am intrigued about how I bowl my right arm fast in the lounge?

P.S. Didn't the Southland Stags invent the Duck Caller first? Truly strange.

The Holden   #3   08:52 pm Nov 15 2007

Just don't electrocute yourself attempting some sort of Paul Adams-esque unravelling as you thunder in across the lounge

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