Wherefore art thou Chris Cairns?

Nothing worse than the empty void that follows a match killed by rain. So reminisce/rant a moment with me. I'm really starting to angst over not seeing Chris Cairns stride to the crease in the NZ kit with his wiry curls exploding around his grilled helmet.  Jacob Oram has become our resident bludgeoner but he's left-handed so I can't copy him in the backyard.

Apart from that reformed "loose cannon" approach to life and the game, C L Cairns also had a soft spot in many Beige Brigade hearts, given his paternal connections to 1980s cricket. Like his old man, he was one bloke you would stop mowing the lawns for, sprint inside with a sense of expectation, and smile knowingly as he fought his instincts and calmly patted his first ball back to the bowler. The shrieking about the grass clippings all through the house was always worth seeing him crunch an Aussie bowler or two into the second tier of the stand of Cairns's choice.

CLC is now a key drawcard in the Indian Cricket League, the cricketing equivalent of the "golden handshake". The C in ICL should stand for Catalyst as it is the ICL competition that has suddenly unlocked an absolute bank vault of cash for the players. If guys like Fleming, Vettori and Styris are all of a sudden worth $200,000+ for a month's work after the ICL emerged, why weren't they earning somewhere near that before it came onto the scene? I suspect it is because the cricketing establishment dropped the ball (reverse cup). Yep, the governing body charged with expanding the game and wringing every last cent out of cricket's commercial potential missed a trick and was only spurred into action when it realised the genuine threat posed by the the third party, unofficial, unsanctioned legal tender of the ICL.

Rant over. Subterfuge and cricketing politics aside, Cairns has just captained the Chandigarh Lions to second in the inaugural ICL competition, teaming up with England's own Hamish Marshall (who did not have a great comp) and the well-performed Darryl Tuffey (4th in the economy rates and going for less than 6 runs per over: come back High Tower, all is forgiven). Cairns unleashed a trademark assault to get the Lions into the final with a belligerent 26-ball 70 against Brian Lara and Nathan Astle's Mumbai Champs, a knock punctuated with seven sixes. At least the curly-haired one has earned his coin - unlike Lara, who was the worst-performed batsman in the competition with 5 bats for 31 runs and a high score of 15. Not that we got to see it, of course - no coverage whatsoever. I wonder if they got a live feed of the ICL final on one of the 2 cricket channels in Singapore? 

Elsewhere, Cairns has an unimaginatively named charity on the go, and although his much publicised, sexual innuendo-laden foray into fudge ended a year ago amid what The Press described as "sticky conditions", there's at least one ongoing reminder of this business venture: the ridiculously named Isle of Man-touring Cairns Fudge Cricket Club in Oxfordshire. And finally, looking at things with blind optimism, the lawns are looking good now that Cairns is no longer rudely interrupting me with his talents.

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Ben   #1   01:00 pm Dec 20 2007

My friend and I have spent the last 6 or so years referring to CL Cairns as "New Zealand's favourite son"... became a force of habit, but it is/was true for the most part - I don't really know anyone wasn't a Cairns fan.

Sure he may rile up a few purists or exasperate the rest of us when he misses out, but it's all forgiven by the next time he trots out to either crease. The atrocious poodle mullet/mop was forgiven too because he had a little bit of menace under there.

Ah yes... I would welcome him back to the Black Caps over & again... kudos to him for the ICL effort too. (Lara, you're soft.)

ps. you'd always be able to get back to the lawns pretty promptly - he'd either score 70 off about 20 balls or 7 off two...

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