That Bloody Underarm Ball

You may have seen a bit of media coverage on TV3, in the NZ Herald or on Stuff about 'the ball' which is the guest of honour at The Underarm, a Kiwi play about transtasman and sibling rivalry opening in Papakura this week. The ball in question is the Beige Brigade's most prized possession, and is usually locked up in the ASB Vault in central Auckland behind about five levels of security, reminiscent of the Get Smart opening theme.

We're often asked: "Where the hell did you chaps get the ball?" so it would be rude not to enlighten you. If nothing else, it provides some new material in relation to the most tediously relived, re-enacted and regurgitated moment in New Zealand sporting folklore. God only knows how Chappells G & T, and ruddy-faced lover of the nags Brian McKechnie cope with "remembering the moment" in front of various audiences every February. Kechers told us about how he takes a deep breath every year when February rolls around as his phone starts ringing with journalists and producers of events conducting their annual underarm inquisitions.

That said, it is a better claim to fame than crying (Kim Hughes), cheating (Hansie Cronje), dreadful TV ads (Greg Matthews - I couldn't find the ad online but this catch off John Wright is a gem! ) or fudge-packing (Chris Cairns).

Interestingly, in that infamous match in 1981, there were two balls used. One at each end, 25 overs each. After the final ball was (lawn) bowled, McKechnie prodded it away, Boots Edgar did the fingers, Geoff Howarth erupted on to the field in his socks and the rest is history. One ball is in the Museum at the WACA in Perth but after a close inspection we decided it was probably too risky to bust the ball out of there in a Beige Brigade heist.

The oddballs at the WACA Museum reckon their ball came to them via wicketkeeper Rod Marsh via one of the match's umpires, Donald 'The Weasel' Weser. An infamous umpire even amongst the gallery of rogues that is the Australian umpiring fraternity from the 1980s, Weser turned down the low, clean catch from Martin Snedden and then let the underarm ball happen. He thus sealed his fate as one of the most disgraceful Australian umpires of all time. So, let's just say there is some doubt surrounding that particular piece of leather and cork.

The other ball - our one - came into our possession in July 2005. It was first auctioned in the 1980s when Wellington College went berserk in its fundraising. Magnificently altruistic Old Collegians such as Frank Renouf and Ron Brierley forked out for a new gym and theatre and there was a charity auction put together by one of the masters at the school.

The ball was presented by the CEO of Qantas as one of the two balls being used in the game, and was given to him by the one and only Trevor Chappell. It was subsequently signed by Chappell and Brian McKechnie and held on to for 20 years before we purchased it.

We have had some fun with it. Apart from the one re-enactment we did in the backyard of Beige Brigade HQ the minute we got the ball into our flat, we've taken it along to a business lunch where we met the protagonists from that famous day. Trevor was a memorable chap - an absolutely terrific bloke who enjoyed the banter and gave us his phone numbers so we can take on The King's School team he coaches when we are next in Sydney. We are still practising and preparing ourselves for that one.

We also took it along to the New Zealand premiere of The Underarm play in Palmerston North last year. A great opportunity to take a day off work - we hired a minibus driver from Student Job Search who we dubbed The Geez and headed up from Wellington, watching the Battle for the Tasman DVD on the way north. Centrepoint Theatre had even hired security guards to protect The Ball, and it sat on a pedestal in the foyer of the venue.

The play is excellent and well worthwhile. It's funny, rude, crude, thought-provoking and engaging - and it understands the game of cricket. If thespian-hating cricket fans only ever go to a single play in their lives, this is one worth making an effort to get to. Towelling hats off to the two writers, David Geary and Justin Gregory.

The Underarm is touring the country, as is the ball, so look out for both at a playhouse near you.

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Ralph   #1   06:40 am Feb 20 2008

Seen the 'other' ball @ the WACA museum, offered them $100 but they turned it down. I will be in for plan B which is the heist so the BB have both balls as they rightfully should. Fancy being locked up on the other side of the world (which Perth virtually is).

The Holden   #2   10:48 am Feb 20 2008

Ralph: Ok, we will investigate the Beagle Boys costumes and be in touch.

Woman Slayer   #3   05:23 pm Feb 22 2008

I too have seen this play and can indeed vouch for its brilliance. I would consider taking a date to this... a date who loves cricket. And is hot, likes chips and throwing beer can, and loves cricket.

Be careful with our beloved ball Papakura...

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