Inside the minds + mouths of the First XI

In batting order, here's what the First XI are thinking...maybe.

Jamie How: Has just been demoted from the national captaincy after an unbeaten run. A bit rough perhaps? Managed to fire a smorgasbord of clichés into the mix so also demonstrated ear-catching potential as an All Blacks' captain as well. Examples included: "You can only do what you can do" and "I'm just taking things day by day." Mindset 7/10

Aaron Redmond: SoR (Son of Rodney) is only two weeks into his international career and already heartily sick sick sick of being relentlessly compared to his old man. God help us if he doesn't get to play at least two tests. Mindset 7/10 (the same as his father's)

James Marshall: Is striving to be The Concrete Block - the Kiwi version of The Wall as he batted for more than two sessions and eked out 128 on a seaming deck that would have had Gavin Larsen bowling like Dennis Lillee. "I was just impressed with the way I hung in there mentally and got through it without too many loose shots." So were the 11 spectators, James. Mindset 9/10 (1 deducted for being "amped" - this is test cricket so all ampage is frowned upon)

Ross Taylor:  Sheriff P. Coltrane has been reminiscing about his Jo-Wilfried Tsonga inspired overhead smash to give away his wicket at Hadlee Park in Christchurch: "I had just smashed Stuart Broad as far as I could and then I played a woeful shot. Everyone knew it was a crap stroke." It certainly was, Rosco, and there were quite a few that emulated it during the IPL as well. Please tell us you have been focusing on what worked at Hamilton in that breakthrough Test ton in March: and by that we mean "The V".  Mindset 8/10

Brendon McCullum: The most intimidating batsman on the cricketing stage, and certainly the most hyped - just like Cairns in 2004, there will be a murmur around the grounds when he jogs to the wicket in the Test matches, accompanies by a massive sense of expectation. Isn't it wonderful to have another chap in our team who forces you to halt mowing the lawns so you can see him bat? Hard to beat this gem of a quote (from Andrew Miller's terrific profile) from Baz the Belligerent: "Flem always said hundreds are for poofs. My conversion-rate does bother me a little bit, but saying that, hopefully I've got another ten years left in the game...I've got another shot coming up this year to get on the honours board." Mindset 9/10 (Less 1 for branding Vettori ferociously)

Daniel Flynn: Totally spewing after being described in the ECB's online player profiles as 'stocky'. About as stocky as Kate Moss don't you mean? Flynn is no Rod Latham, Mark Greatbatch or Jock Edwards but with Styris slogging in India and Jess drinking one-handed in Wellington, we do need a rolypoly player to keep us amused. I suppose Flynn will have to eat up.  Mindset 8/10 - angry but slightly hungry as well.

Jacob Oram: Told The Times: “I have had too many injuries. They are all wear-and-tear ones . . . stress-related, all left side of the body. I am well over 100kg and they reckon eight times your body weight goes through your landing leg when you bowl. That’s a fair bit of pressure." Almost as much as when you come out to bat at Lord's and the team is 27/4. Mindset: 6.5/10 and creaking toward 7. 

Daniel Vettori: Cunning to feign such a realistic looking hand injury with blood and stitches just to add to the Poms' overwhelming belief that they are going to destroy us at Lord's. "I just caught a ball which Brendon threw at the stumps. I backed it up and I took it awkwardly and gashed across the side of my left index finger." Look for the winces of pain as he starts throwing high-fives around later in the series. Mindset: 6/10.

Kyle Mills: Murali was bowling in the nets over in India some days too so Millsy definitely wasn't the world's most expensive net bowler. Is fit as a fiddle and gagging for some cricket - he could explode in Maida Vale. Mindset: 9/10 and heading north

Tim Southee: Unlike the invalided middle order batsman debutant who fronted every media request under the Kiwi summer sun earlier in the year, Timothee Southee has been keeping a very low profile. Perhaps too low actually with only one wicket on tour so far - they wouldn't pick Mason or O'Brien ahead of him, would they? Mindset: 7/10

Chris Martin: Will be rapt to have been singled out as one of six danger men fingered by none other than the great albino himself, David Gower (along with Taylor, Vettori, Oram, Mills and McCullum). Not a great talker, but if you've met the bloke, you know he will be pretty damn relaxed in that Brad Pitt in Point Break kinda way. Mindset: Unknown