Blabacus Time: Two-Year Best XI
I know all we want to do is bang on about the one-day team for the England series and that is cool as a cucumber with me. But I got a little bit more tangential last night and ran the Sideline Slogger bl-abacus over the England and New Zealand one-day teams. Based purely on averages over the past 2 years in the dastardly, monotonous and ultimately doomed form of the game - 50-over cricket - I have selected each nation's best-performed eleven.
There are some surprises.
Team selection is based on picking 5 batsman (qual: 100 runs), an all-rounder, a wicketkeeper, 3 pacemen (qual: 25 overs) and a nerdy little spin bowler on each team.
Eng-o-land XI, 2006-2008
Marcus Trescothick, batting average 45.78. The only Pom to be pouching 40+ over the past 24 months. A massive loss to their side and to cricket when he faded into the background on the back of a mental illness.
St. Kevin Pietersen, 39.29. I would use him as an opener as well. He got to slam paint-filled balloons around in a white room for this interview in which he goes all Matthew Hayden on us with a bit of God bothering. Who'd have thought?!
Ian Bell, 36.02. Tweedledum...
Paul Collingwood, 38.62...and Tweedledee.
Owais Shah, 32.00. This inclusion pained me but at least that meant Cook missed out.
Matt Prior, batting 22.90 and 20 dismissals in 10 games. Marginally ahead of the other rubbish candidates Jones, Nixon and Mustard.
Andrew Flintoff (c), bowling average 22.92. Freddie is filthy that Stu Broad got the glory all-rounder's spot in the XI - and all the chicks. Named captain as compensation and decides to bat above the all-rounder anyway.
Stuart Broad, batting 29.71, bowling 29.34. Looks like an 8-year old girl but plays like a man.
Jon Lewis, 26.64. A forgotten man of English cricket - still beavering away as captain of Hamish Marshall's Gloucestershire team. Favourite album is by bedwetters Keane, which is incredibly disappointing.
Ryan Sidebottom, 21.35. The #1 English bowler in this period, and also the best strike rate of all their frontline bowlers.
Graeme Swann, 28.57. Monty and all his jumpity jump-jumpy appealing can sit this series out.
New Zild XI, 2006-2008
Jesse Ryder, batting average 49.00. Thank God he didn't follow through on that threat to play for England and start Cad-dicking us.
Jamie How, 48.08. Developing a very impressive record. Always considered good at football but slightly dull up until his turf battle with Sidebottom at the weekend.
Scott Styris, 46.90. The rock, bacon flavoured.
Mathew Sinclair, 40.67. A shock inclusion - leaps over Fleming, Fulton and Vincent.
Ross Taylor, 36.54. Averages less than 10 when not batting in the V.
Jacob Oram, batting 40.56, bowling 36.24. Ball-achingly close to being dropped in favour of Sideline Slogger hero Craig McMillan (batting 34.94, bowling 31.80).
Brendon McCullum, batting 36.16 and 43 dismissals in 39 games. About a millennium ahead of Hopkins (batting 4.50, 0 dismissals).
Daniel Vettori (c), bowling average 26.79. Makes every New Zealand XI ever named for one reason or another.
Kyle Mills, 20.16. Our number one bowler and also has the best strike rate.
Shane Bond, 20.92. Ouch.
Michael Mason, 28.40. He is as surprised as anyone that he made the XI for once. A bit of a Jon Lewis "nearly man". Deserves more chances than he gets.
[Stats attack from www.howstat.com]
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What do you mean by Taylor batting in the v? Plus on screen there our team looks streaks ahead of the pommy rubbish!
Sir Holden, can you enlighten us with details on how many games were played by each player in this period and versus who? Don't really care about England but would be interesting to compare NZ players.
Simon DC: In fact it ignores everything and is a stupid list, but that is the point. What did Macca do to you at Seddon Park?
Hamish: Consult your Martin Crowe batting manual.
Unwell: Appreciate the knighthood. All ODIs played in the last 24 months though. Another boffin will find out who against surely. Night Ryder - 5 James How - 13 Piggy - 27 Skippy - 5 Former keeper - 23 Rossco - 32 The object of Shah Rukh Khan's man crush - 39 Pills - 9 007 - 9 Librarian - 25 Mason - 4
"Shane Bond, 20.92. Ouch."
Hahahaha!
But oh so painful.
our numbers have been fantastic on paper in the last few years. thank goodness this isn't a test team.
It's a real shame about Skippy, as misleading as the average of 40 you have is, there was no doubt he had the potential to be a much better player than he ended up being for us and his failures always seemed to hurt more than most.
man sinclair would love the call up..
Bond is the man we miss. I know he is starting to get into the mid 30s and his pace has dropped but we really need a bowler with the ability to take wickets quickly and demoralise the other team.
Sure, on his day Mills is devastating enough but if his line and length aren't on he can go for a few. Bond never seemed to go for too many. His ability to come back for an over or 2 when the batting team were set and still trouble them..
We'll do England in the one dayers anyway but to have had Bond in the tests.. Would have been the difference..
So now we are getting slaughtered in the pyjama game too... A few questions: Cricinfo say NZ have NEVER WON a 20/20 match... is this true? And if we're crap at Tests, and good at ODIs, shouldn't that mean we should be world beaters at 20/20?? And what use is Styris? In any case, nearly getting bowled out in 20 overs and then being hammered all over the park by Ian Bell -- 'nuff said.
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No glaring omissions in the All Whites squad
Its nice to be able to put together a paper team...unfortunately the list ignores form, injury, retiring etc.
And I would have had Macca in there anyway. Still have goosebumps from Seddon park.