The Good, the Bad and the UAE

GOOD

Geoff Boycott's commentary: The man with one of the best nicknames going around - GLY - was on fire during the second one-dayer in Abu Dhabi. Tony Greig reported back to Boycs that he had been doing some research into the one-day career of Son of Rodney, and Redmond's average and strike rate were commensurate with that of Boycott. A slight pause then an outraged Boycott retorted: "I'm a better blinking player than 'im." Greig took that on the chin and replied: "That's what I wanted you to say." To which Boycott ended the conversation: "Well you're dead right too." Wonderful stuff from the obstinate barnacle known as the Greatest Living Yorkshireman.

The Pakistani fans' penchant for dressing up: They don't have many fancy dress shops in Abu Dhabi (unlike Headingley and Wellington, for example) so the fans are like the Macgyvers of dress-up: they just make do with whatever they can find. Cardboard, scissors, coloured pens, sheets, office paper, stuffed toys and they are away.

Half-time entertainment: Both the at-game entertainment, and the Sky coverage were spot on. At the game, punters were treated to a kids' cricket match. Perfect - all the marketing bollocks in the world can't hide the fact that people at a cricket game like seeing cricket played. Little kids running each other out, dropping catches, bursting into tears, and smashing the ball to all parts of the oval is a sure-fire recipe for success. Meanwhile, back in the lounge, it was The Crowd Goes Wild or as we call it The Mull Show. Sometimes, Sky does some weird things here and puts on drag racing, plane flying, waterskiing or some other non-sport drivel that doesn't even have a ball involved. TCGW is a much more appropriate and less sleep-inducing option.

Brendon McCullum: His mighty 131 from 129 balls was a brilliant innings, reminiscent of the Nathan Astle method of compiling a one-day hundred. Ends a sequence of scores of 1, 18, 26, 41, 0, 43, 36, 33, 2, 0, 71, 77, 2, 14, 3, 44, 46, 48, 17, 0 and 21 so far this year. I don't subscribe to the view of Craig Cumming that eight failures is OK if he wins us one or two games out of 10. I'd put him back down the order and give him the batting powerplay to deploy.

The absence of Sonny Spoon: The creepy flag-waver is nowhere to be seen (so far).

BAD

The plague of pandas: There were lots and lots of stuffed pandas in the crowd on Saturday morning. Why? The one with Boom-Boom taped to it that was about as big as the 46kg bloke holding it was my favourite but the sheer volume of pandas was odd, and reminiscent of the Beige Brigade's very own mascot, the small horse.

The presentation: An epic series of awards are given out including the new, and frankly ridiculous awards for best bowler, most boundaries and best all-round performance - plus the man of the match. Awards for best haircut, most important dropped catch and dumbest dismissal would be much more interesting. And did there really need to be NINE fish-heads on deck for the photos? For the first one-dayer the bodies on the podium almost matched the overall attendance.

Neil Broom: A player that has the potential to be a middle-order fixer will need to get some significant runs at some point - so far he has a top score of 37 but has never been past 30 in his other 14 bats. He also has a developing tendency to get out very early - three ducks, a 1 and a 2, then a further 4 scores under 20.

UGLY

The sponsors: Head and Shoulders shampoo followed up their endorsement of Shahid Afridi via billboards with a free "scalp check" service in full view of the public up in the stand at Sheikh Zayed Stadium. Yuk. The Cool & Cool Cup sounds like false advertising as it doesn't even feature Chris Gayle. Finally, also involved is the Alfalah Bank - a name that lends itself to a wonderful pronunciation in a New Zild accent especially in Gisborne and Northland.

The graphic of Razzaq's high scores: The one that sticks out like the proverbial canine's testicles is that extraordinary innings Abdur/Abdul Razzaq played at the Cake Tin where he monstered his way to an incredible 89 from just 40 balls. It gives me palpitations seeing it listed in his high scores - Cricinfo aptly described it as a "volcanic" performance - it was certainly one of the best demonstrations of hitting ever witnessed in New Zealand including 24 off one full-toss-laden Andre Adams over. 

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