Bunch of wet nurses turned me right off

Sunday Star Times
Last updated 22:28 08/03/2008

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I was in Rob Waddell's corner all the way. Mahe Drysdale whined way too much.

Just as milk builds strong bones in young kids, sport helps to build character until athletes reach a point where under pressure the building stops and what character you possess is revealed: Drysdale was suddenly put under a ton of pressure this summer and he turned out to be a big cry baby, not the kind of guy I'm likely to have a beer with.

This epic rowing battle had more twists and turns than a Winston Peters news conference and television blew it big time! This baby was delivered to them on a silver platter and they couldn't make it sing. Pathetic. Finally the night before the last race the television numb-nuts suddenly caught fire and brought out the experts, former Olympians and respected sports journalists to rip into the nitty-gritty of this enthralling human interest story and it made for riveting television.

For instance I was literally blown out of the water when journalist Joseph Romanos declared that even if Drysdale lost the trial series in a close contest he should be the Olympic pick. And he wasn't the Lone Ranger, plenty of other media people were spouting the same thing.

"SMACK!" That's me hitting myself in the forehead with the palm of my hand in disbelief. Why run the bloody races then? I've lived here 28 years and I don't get it? I simply do not understand you people.

We may speak the same language but we definitely don't mean the same things even when we use the same words. I grew up thinking "close" only counted in grenade throwing and slow dancing not in head-to-head racing where coming "close" is called losing.

And speaking of those lobotomy jobs Rowing NZ should have all their oars broken in half for trying to keep this athletic orgasm to themselves.

The actual races turned out to be like going the distance with a hot babe in a darkened room with all the curtains drawn. When it's all done and dusted you're aware something exhilarating happened you just didn't get to see any of it.

Rowing NZ officials killed their sport for me. Screw them, at Beijing I'm rooting for the German guy.

 

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