Sport's secret out of closet

Photo: Reuters

Pink Dragon: Former Wales and Lions rugby player Gareth Thomas found he could run but not hide from his sexuality.

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OPINION: You have to laugh sometimes. Former Wales rugby player Gareth Thomas publicly acknowledges his homosexuality and what do we hear from the world's sports desks? A chorus of ho hums, no big deals and so whats.

It's as if, after first enthusiastically embracing homophobia, we've now become so enlightened there's no longer such a thing. That's a relief isn't it? The battle for gay rights is over because, apparently, the war has already been won.

No great surprise, I know, that most of this shoulder-shrugging has come from white, male, middle-aged commentators; men who have either deliberately or clumsily opted to miss the point. One writer even accused Thomas of coming out for "headline-grabbing" reasons. Another thought it so unremarkable, it shouldn't rate a mention. A Kiwi colleague became bogged down in the puerile, wondering whether the Welshman might have fancied his team-mates.

If anything, the reaction only highlights how necessary it was for Thomas to publicly stand up for himself and for what he believed in. His courage might not only prevent a young sportsman or woman torturing themselves over their sexuality in the future, it might even stop someone hurling themselves off a cliff. He admits it was an option he often considered while standing on a bluff overlooking the sea near his family cottage.

Because of this feared backlash against his sexuality, Thomas lived a lie. He still believes he wouldn't have succeeded at rugby if it was openly known he was gay. Everyone knew what rugby thought of queers. He stayed in the closet, trying his best to be one of the boys, flirting with the girls, even marrying Jemma. The flipside, however, contained emotional breakdowns, suicidal tendencies and the inevitable collapse of his marriage.

Why did he bother coming out? To simply help others avoid his own, dark and painful past. To stand up and be counted. To demonstrate to today's young and vulnerable gay folk that, yes, everyone's scared of being deemed sub-human in this world, even great, hulking rugby players. But that the best policy is to front. Thomas wanted them to know it was worth the drama; empowering even. And that he has never felt better about himself.

The idea that some people have used his message to promote a theory that coming out is no longer necessary would be deeply amusing if it wasn't so glib and bigoted. It's hard to think of a place more intolerant or non-inclusive towards gay folk than the sporting environment. Thomas mentioned this last week. Aussie rugby league star Ian Roberts made a similar comment when he emerged. Sport is supposed to be for straight people.

Massive obstacles still exist for our gay community, and not just in sport. If anyone thinks it's no longer an issue in New Zealand, they clearly didn't monitor the debate on civil unions a few of years back. Gay couples have almost no chance of adopting children; even anonymous sperm donors are now invited to strike gays and lesbians from a list of potential recipients. It can't be long until they started offering blood donors the same option.

Not convinced? Only last week the government appointed to the Human Rights Review Tribunal ex-National MP Brian Neeson, who, during his time in Parliament repeatedly supported legislation discriminating against gays and lesbians. As civil union celebrant and gay rights activist Bill Logan told the website GayNZ.com, it "seems like a deliberate government attack on the lesbian, gay and transsexual communities. How can it be anything else?"

That's why people such as Thomas bother coming out. Because they know, for the young people who find themselves in similar circumstances, the challenge is far from inconsequential or negligible. Unlike those sports columnists who refuse to acknowledge how hostile the world is towards young, gay athletes, they not only empathise, but light up the darkness. They know it's their time to bear the cross in the hope that others might not need to.

There's still a message that needs to be spread, and one the sporting fraternity is taking an age to understand. Thomas' comments last week, and the revelations of his sexual orientation, will doubtless come as a setback for those who deem all homosexuals defective or untrustworthy. I mean, it has now been claimed he shared a dressing-room with hundreds of team-mates without even attempting to seduce one of them. Staggering stuff.

Thomas' revelations should also help discredit those poor, narrow-minded souls who continue to insist that homosexuality is a choice rather than a genetic and, therefore, natural disposition. He knew he was gay when he was 16 years old, but attempted to repress his inclinations out of a fear of the likely consequences. He wondered whether he might change over time but, as the years wore on, knew he was just kidding himself.

Which is why, rather than being undermined by those who prefer ignorance to enlightenment, Thomas deserves to be saluted. What the 35-year-old achieved last week when he stood up for countless marginalised gays and lesbians eclipsed anything he was able to achieve as a successful international sportsman. He has shown compassion, courage and, most of all, leadership, and for that we should all be grateful.

Yet, as the London Times writer Simon Barnes rightly pointed out last week, it was not so much Thomas' courage that was the troubling part of this issue; it was the fact that his courage was even necessary. True, it would be nice, as some have suggested, if the world was so tolerant and inclusive that no one needed to concern themselves with coming out at all. But the reality? It's not. Happy New Year.

rboock@xtra.co.nz

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