Super 14 TeamTalk

BY TOBY ROBSON

OPINION: Dominion Post rugby writer Toby Robson's weekly Super 14 rundown.

HURRICANES

In the news: Yellow Fever! Did Conrad Smith really stay behind to attend the Phoenix semifinal? Or was he at a wedding? And will the Hurricanes crowd take a leaf out of the footy fans book and take their shirts off after tries? Teamtalk hopes so.

Physio's table: Hosea Gear (knee), 3 weeks; Jason Eaton (knee), six months; Jason Kawau (sinus), to play club rugby.

The good: Youngster Aaron Cruden has a yardstick after a tough introduction to the starting job in Bloemfontein. Cruden struggled at times, but will be better for the experience. Ditto for Alapati Leiua, who made a fine debut at centre.

The bad: Discipline (Nonu! Thrush! See me after class). If Colin Cooper has handcuffs and a whip then now is the time to get them out, figuratively speaking of course.

BLUES

In the news: Stephen Brett. Is he the saviour? Is he brilliant or flawed? Is he the next Carlos Spencer? No, both, and no. Brett's a very good player, but it'll be another year before he's the finished product.

Physio's table: Villiame Ma'afu (corked thigh), Benson Stanley (head knock), Stephen Brett (head knock), Joe Rokocoko (sore knee), Paul Williams (head knock).

The good: Considering half the team are seeing double the bye has come at exactly the right time. And as an aside, Ma'afu has revealed he's represented Tonga in sevens, golf and tennis. Who would have thunk it?

The bad: Joe Rokocoko signalling frantically for his opposite wing, Rudi Wulf, to throw him a 30 metre pass in his own 22. Wulf was the television villain after Ryan Crotty's intercept, but Rokocoko probably had a quiet, "sorry mate" after the match.

CRUSADERS

In the news: Brett v Carter. It was promoted like a boxing match and after a pretty evenly matched bout the latter won a points decision, albeit bringing in Robert Fruean to deliver the knockout blow.

Physio's table: Andy Ellis (concussion), monitored this week; Quentin MacDonald (knee), out for the season.

The good: The way the Crusaders take rough-around-the-edges players like Robbie Fruean and turn them into well-polished jewels. It's taken them all of four weeks to complete their latest project.

The bad: Southern hospitality. Brett comes home expecting a hot shepherd's pie and a pint, but instead he gets flattened by a 105kg Fruean. Brett heads back to Auckland where a hot latte and a panini make the harsh Christchurch cold seem a world away.

CHIEFS

In the news: Sione Lauaki orders nachos at the Coyotes Bar and Restaurant in Hamilton but they're only lukewarm! At 2am it's the last straw after somebody scuffed his brand new Airforce Ones. Investigations are ongoing.

Physio's table: Hika Elliot (hamstring), Kevin O'Neill (Achilles),Craig Clarke (groin), James McGougan (back).

The good: After four weeks the Chiefs are now unscoutable. A tough win in Durban, 65 points coughed up in Johannesburg, an injury hit Force beaten in Perth and a meltdown in Hamilton. The Crusaders will have no idea this Friday.

The bad: After three weeks making Stephen Donald believe he was Dan Carter, hypnotist Andrew Newton heads to the TAB, smacks a grand on the Reds. His cunning plan in play, he rings Donald, clicks his fingers three times down the phone and hangs up.

HIGHLANDERS

In the news: Donuts. Not the iced, nutted or frosted kind Homer Simpson dreams of. Also not the back-of-Upper Hutt-boy-racer variety. We're talking about the sporting variety, the unpalatable 33-0-offer-nothing-on-attack variety served up in Cape Town.

Physio's table: Jimmy Cowan (dislocated finger), one week; Nasi Manu (knee), another week.

The good: Lose a Cowan, gain a Cowan. Scott Cowan heads over to South Africa to replace his brother and "other brothers" around the country give a quiet fist-pump for their kind.

The bad: The phrase "captain's armband". Apparently Jamie Mackintosh will take it from Jimmy Cowan for the Highlanders' next game. But is there an armband? Or does it just sound cool? No and no.

AUSSIE WATCH

Kurtley Beale politely declines the lie detector test in saying he was "going for the intercept" after batting down the pass that prevented the Sharks from winning in Sydney.

Will Genia shows scant regard for Lelia Masaga's ego in talking about the pace of young fullback Luke Morahan. "We knew he was quick but not that much quicker than (Lelia) Masaga, he absolutely smoked him to the ball," Genia said after the Reds win over the Chiefs.

Teamtalk's pleased to see former Brumbies fullback Julian Huxley cleared to play again two years after a brain tumour stalled his promising career. That's real character.

SOUTH AFRICA WATCH

Cheetahs coach Naka Drotske describes Heinrich Brussow as "irreplaceable" after the flanker is ruled out for the season with a knee injury, then, of course, replaces him in his squad.

- © Fairfax NZ News