Why Kiwi sledgers can let rip at Clarke

BY RICHARD HINDS
Last updated 07:26 17/03/2010

Michael Clarke quits cricket tour

1 of 8 Lara Bingle
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Lara Bingle and Michael Clarke

Clarke shuns media at Wellington

Opinion poll

Should Kiwi spectators sledge Michael Clarke over his relationship problems during the NZ v Australia test cricket series?

Yes. It's all fair game

No. We should show him some respect.

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OPINION: Did I read that correctly? Mental disintegration is OK, but marital disintegration is off limits?

Was Michael Hussey serious when he suggested that New Zealand would be crossing some newly drawn line in the sledging sand should they mention Michael Clarke's relationship bust-up - he used to be engaged to some girl called Lara Bingle, apparently - during the first Test?

Or was Mr Cricket simply concerned repeated sledging involving the tag ''hussy'' would cause confusion when he was at the crease with Clarke? Either way, the mere suggestion that New Zealanders should be deprived of their inalienable right to mouth childish taunts and mindless insults is disturbing. Even, to use a term we normally avoid like a speeding plumbers' van, downright un-Australian.

In defence of the ignoble art of sledging, I declare a vested interest. As a cricketer I was a seventh-change seemer (if I was bowling, it seemed certain we were trying to get the opposition to declare) and an opener who was particularly adept against accurate bowling (the straighter the ball, the more chance it would somehow find the middle of the bat).

However, I would like to think that my ability to get under the skin of an obstinate batsman with a well-timed remark about his little sister's nocturnal habits (I did not say I was subtle) more than made up for my miserable scorebook contributions. Or, as Joe the leg spinner, ummm, cameraman might have put it: ''Can't bat, can't bowl, can gob off!''

So, since Binglegate, the natural inclination has been to wonder what consolation I might have provided the lovelorn Pup from second slip.

''You flushed that one mate. The ring, idiot, not the cover drive.''

''Heard you've broken up with Lara, pretty boy. Hope Brian hasn't taken it too badly.''

''Which removalist did you call first? Furniture or tattoo?''

OK, those lines are not likely to make the cue cards of a Tonight Show monologue. They might even hit the cutting room floor at the ''Matty Johns Show''. But then, I'm no Matthew Hayden - would-be cordon bleu chef, former lead vocalist in a slips cordon-blue.

Hayden, of course, was part of a team whose methods never appealed to the squeamish, the tasteful or pretty much anyone with some book-learning. So Hussey's appeal to the Kiwis to treat Clarke with kid gloves might be symbolic of a new and more respectful approach by the Australians - although I'm not sure Chris Gayle could provide any supporting evidence for the proposition.

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Realistically, Hussey's sentiment seems, if not hypocritical, at the very least optimistic. There are areas that should be strictly out of bounds for even the most hardcore sledger such as bereavement and religious/racial/sexual vilification.

Some will claim Binglegate fits the category because Bingle remains the victim of Brendan Fevola's moronic behaviour despite the public dismantling of her reputation and because the former couple deserve privacy and respect.

The first point is undeniable. The second ignores an essential truth - Clarke and Bingle did not merely jump willingly into the shark-infested waters of media stardom, they smeared themselves in blood before taking the plunge. Or, as the new saying might go, you can't have your Aston Martin and your dignity, too.

So let the Kiwi sledgers do their best and, if needs be, anything untoward can be referred to the match referee. (Rule 26C covers all on-field incidents involving ''sticks/and/or/stones breaking bones'', while sub-section 2A refers to incidents ''whereupon it is agreed by both umpires that 'it takes one to know one'.'')

The Enzeders are fully entitled to hail Clarke as lord of the pear-shaped ring. Hopefully, just a few seconds before chasing another angry drive to the boundary.

- © Fairfax NZ News

66 comments
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Vicksta   #66   12:47 am Mar 18 2010

Everything in sport is fair game but only when it's on-field related. If you wanna poke fun at his performance, or the way he runs..etc go ahead, but I think once you delve into the personal then you, as a fan have crossed the line. Think back to the Andrew Symounds issues when the Aussies were in India (or Sri Lanka was it?), that was personal which was pretty disappointing from a fan's perspective. I'm all for the fans and players alike sledging each other but only when it's right. Don't cross the line because that's just unsportmanlike mis-conduct!

Kiwi in Europe   #65   10:29 pm Mar 17 2010

Each to their own, sledge away if that's what you like, you've paid the entry fee so please yourself. If you don't want to sledge then so be it, but don't get on your high horse preaching.

As for Clarke, I reckon he's handled it pretty well. This was the woman he was going to marry after all, can't be an easy time but he went home, sorted it and now he's back fronting up for the team. That deserves respect. But I'll still hope like hell he gets a pair. C'mon Kiwis

Benneh   #64   09:44 pm Mar 17 2010

#6 - actually Sinclair wouldn't have much room to talk, his career's had more up and downs than the XT network.

JAKiM   #63   06:58 pm Mar 17 2010

Sam #44

"90% of People would want to clip you". I reckon 60% will probably laugh with the guy yelling (Or maybe at). See what i did there?

On a serious note. There is nothing wrong with a bit banter from the crowd at the cricket. These guys are paid to play the game, they should be tough enough to handle a bit of abuse hurled from a drunken fan.

Final thought: I couldnt care less of what the Australian cricketers think of our crowds.

Nic   #62   06:29 pm Mar 17 2010

Athletes and sportsmen have become the Clergymen of a secular society - their personal life is judged and the expectation to be a role-model is sickeningly apparent.

A professional sportsman is made by choice; a natural progression of a birthed and well nurtured talent - which is no different then someone excelling in academics and rising to own a multi-million dollar corporation. Yet it is only these sports-stars who are critised and judged for being 'less-then-holy' with little to no room for argument.

Simply put, they're human like everybody else. They didn't choose to play a professional sport to consciously acknowledge themselves as being a leading example within society - so enough with the worship and hype, and lets give them a break!!!

Sam   #61   04:17 pm Mar 17 2010

Mac#51

What are you smoking?

Think you need to get up to play with the discussion here concerning Clarke.

Insignificant as a person and a player?

now I don't support the Aussies, but we are talking about a 28 year old, multi millionaire whom lives in a $5million pad, goes out with models, drives sport cars, and is well liked and doesn't sledge - as a person

As a cricketer, vice captain of the best team in the world, has a test batting average of over 50, which Macca, suggests he's pretty handy and you think he's insignificant??

Macca, you must be one hell of an overachiever in life I trust!1

I'm sure Clarke will lose a lot of sleep over you not sleding him.

Jenny   #60   04:06 pm Mar 17 2010

What a nasty little world we live in that being hateful to others has become a public sport.She is a young woman who has made mistakes(havent we all)and is facing Australasian scorn from the bored pathetic public,and as for Michael fronting up in person (it shows hes a real man)when things were obviously critical for their relationship.Sorry sport OCDS peoples, sometimes LIFE gets in the way of your TV sport & Beer & Chips. Leave them alone and grow up all of you. The one that needs to be reviled I believe is the tacky married EX.

Shaun   #59   03:54 pm Mar 17 2010

Of course he will get sledged - NZ teams get absolutely torn to shreds by the crowd in Aussie so why should it be any different the other way around. Will say at least Clarke has spoken out about it, alot quicker than a certain Tiger

hassbunter   #58   03:43 pm Mar 17 2010

@ Bertram the Knowledgable #55 - oh yeah he gonna get it

Scott   #57   02:43 pm Mar 17 2010

Bertram

I think I love you!!! im no longer gonna tell people to ignore you, I mean 257!!! You must be right lol


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