Blatant simulation' is simply cheating

OPINION: At last, someone is doing something about the great scourge of the game.

Often known as simulation, but more accurately called cheating, diving is the single greatest frustration to players and fans the world over, and the main reason why football is far from the beautiful game it claims to be. Is there anything quite as despicable as a player pretending to be fouled, or more infuriating than seeing the referee fall for it?

In last week's A-League match between Perth Glory and Melbourne Heart, the Glory's Michael Baird threw himself to the ground, without being fouled, to win a penalty. Television replays confirmed that Baird's "fall" was voluntary, long, and spectacular, and would have given him an early lead in the 100m freestyle. And in Central Coast Mariners' clash with Sydney FC, the Mariners' Patricio Perez tumbled theatrically after hanging his foot out in a desperate, but vain, search for contact from the Sydney goalkeeper.

Perez's tumble wasn't quite as obvious as Baird's, though Mariners coach Graham Arnold, after saying "It was a penalty", betrayed what he really thought when he added, "We've had plenty of penalties not given, so it's maybe evened up."

Perez is from Argentina, where the interpretation of cheating is different than it is Down Under. In South America, you're conditioned to do whatever it takes to win, and it's up to the referee to adjudicate.

The Football Federation of Australia promptly dumped a two-match ban on both players and, even better, told them that no correspondence would be entered into.

It's a tactic used by parents the world over when they tell their whining five-year-old: "You'll go to your room for 10 minutes, and if I hear any grizzling, I'll make it 20."

There is no court of appeal for five-year-olds, and nor should there be for the cheats who are trying to destroy football. Not when the evidence is there on tape for all to see. If allowed an appeal, what are the two cheats going to say? "Look! There it is! That fly whacked me from the side and I couldn't keep my feet."

Adding hot sauce to the whole unpalatable brew were the post-match comments of the Heart's Simon Colosimo, who simply stated a fact when he said Baird's stunt was "blatant simulation".

So the manure's really hit the fan. The High Horse Brigade claim that the cheats are being denied natural justice. Perth Glory owner Tony Sage is threatening legal action against Colosimo if he doesn't apologise to Baird for effectively calling him a cheat.

There was more cheating in the Melbourne Victory-Gold Coast United clash, when Dugandzic flicked the ball with his hand, Maradona-style, away from the Perth goalkeeper. Fortunately the referee spotted the incident and yellow-carded the offender.

But it raises a number of questions. Are you a worse cheat when you get away with it? Had the divers been caught at the time, they'd have been given a yellow card, so why do they get a two match suspension now? But the FFA is on the right track, and should be congratulated for taking a stand that Fifa should have taken long ago.

THE MOUNTAIN All Whites defender Winston Reid has to climb to gain a regular berth in the West Ham line-up has just got a whole lot steeper. He played a full match in the Hammers' first game of the season, most of it at right back, and was given a torrid time by the Aston Villa strike force. He came off the bench in the second match against Bolton, and didn't make the squad of 16 for the third match, against Manchester United at Old Trafford.

West Ham lost all three games, and you didn't have to be Stephen Hawking to guess that, with the stars seriously out of alignment at Upton Park, Hammers boss Avram Grant would do something to sort it out. He has, by signing experienced international right back Lars Jacobsen.

The Dane is 30 years old, with 35 caps for his country, so he offers the experience West Ham are going to need to battle out of the relegation zone.

The upside is that if Reid is temporarily out of the picture at West Ham, there's less reason for him not to return home for the All Whites' matches against Honduras and Paraguay next month.

- © Fairfax NZ News