Gilt-edged Zac Guildford

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When the tears well up in your eyes as you ask the question, you know this is emotional territory.

But at the end of a frank conversation with this 20-year-old rugby wunderkind about his first experiences as an All Black, the father is mentioned. He has to be. He is part of everything this remarkable young man does.

Every night when Zac Guildford goes to bed and every morning when he wakes up again he thinks of his father Robert who earlier this year died in Tokyo while watching his son win a world under-20 title for his country. Every time he pulls on a rugby jersey, no matter the colour, he does it for the "old man". If it wasn't so damn tragic, you might have called it symbolic that a doting dad's heart gave out on him while watching his son fill him with pride.

Guildford really is a special new All Black. Never mind the outrageous ability and the innate confidence. To come through what he has this year and to be able to hold it together to play the rugby he has is a testament to the young man's fortitude and strength of spirit.

It matters not that the flying Magpie wasn't required for this morning's final, defining test of the year against France. That's neither here nor there. He made his debut at the Millennium Stadium, and followed that up with a second start against the English at Twickenham. Two big tests. Two great occasions. And two accomplished performances by the rookie wing. The young man is here to stay.

ABs assistant coach Wayne Smith says the way the soon-to-be Crusader came through those difficult occasions says a lot about him as a person and as a player.

"Some players who look really good at domestic level don't quite take the step up, and there are others who look average at domestic level but are great All Blacks. And then there's some like Zac who is a bit of both. He just looks like he's born to it."

Steve Hansen notes not only Guildford's maturity, but his confidence. Most new All Blacks skulk to the back row of the haka. Not him. Hawke's Bay's finest was jostling his way to the front, wanting to be as visible as he could. "He doesn't lack any confidence, and certainly doesn't play like he lacks it. He's going to be good," says the other assistant coach.

Hansen admits to being surprised by Guildford's maturity and notes he's "pretty comfortable in his own skin".

Skipper Richie McCaw concurs. "He's a good kid, he's come in and just wants to do well, and he's certainly taken his chance."

Smith says Guildford's challenge now is to continue to grow his game. Given what he's been through this year, the coach has little doubt about what's around the corner. "That says a lot about him about the toughness inside him. That's pretty promising."

So I ask him. Straight up. What being an All Black means to him?

"That's a hard one to express in a few words," he says. "I guess I've been through a bit of hell this year, and it's added fuel to my motivation. I just want to keep driving for the next 10 or so years to be the best that I can."

He has made a promising start.

Here are some of Guildford's reflections on the dream conclusion to his nightmare year:

THE DEBUTHE FOUND he was to make his debut on the left wing against Wales at training when All Blacks coach Graham Henry gathered the boys in. "I was sort of expecting it but sort of not," he says.

Sitiveni Sivivatu's suspension meant someone was going to get a chance. "But when I got named it was a special moment, and a huge honour.

"I still haven't really taken it in. Friends have been asking me what it's like. I really haven't had time sit back and think `geez I'm an All Black'. It's all been pretty rushed, so it hasn't all sunk in yet.

"I tried to treat it just like a normal week, but of course I was a bit more nervous than usual. Come game day I tried to turn those nerves into excitement and I think that worked for me. Ted [Henry] said to just treat it like I was at McLean Park, so that's what I did."

After his customary game-day nap, it was time to head to the stadium. "It was a five-minute drive but it was pretty special. All the Welsh had come out of the pubs and were clapping us down the street. I'd never seen anything like it. It was the best 500m trip I've ever made."

Guildford singled out two special moments from game day. "Richie presented me my first test jersey, and also my cap he just said after the game that I did the jersey proud and played a good first game.

"Mum and my auntie came over for the Wales and Italy games. It was a special moment for her to be there to see my first test, even if it was a bit hard to spot her in the crowd."

And the match itself?

"It all went pretty fast, like I was only out there for 10 minutes. I didn't get a hell of a lot of chances with ball in hand, and a lot of my work was on defence.

"Singing the national anthem and looking up at 70,000 Welsh fans was special, and also the haka was big. Then it's kickoff and the game just blows by. I thought I did what I could, even though you always want to do more in a game."

THE FOLLOWUPAFTER SITTING out Italy, Guildford was back to face England at Twickenham for test cap No2.

"I felt a bit more relaxed and I think I played OK. It was a bit frustrating, because all the ball was going Siti's way. I was trying to get my hands on it as much as possible, but England were doing a pretty good job of shutting down our opportunities by killing the ball or doing things to slow it down.

"I wouldn't say I'm used to it now, but when I first came in it was a huge shock to the system. I think you slowly adapt to the lifestyle of an All Black, see what people are doing and pick up little things.

"We've been getting a bit of slack in the paper about not scoring many tries. I think they're already into me because I've played two tests and haven't got one. I better hurry up and get it together."

THE WASHUPNOW HE is, a two-test All Black, about to enter his sixth week on the road and Guildford has no doubts about what's been the toughest part. "Just being away for so long," he shrugs, noting it's "no holiday" they're on.

In terms of a player that's helped him most, that one's a given. Their team-mates reckon Guildford and Cory Jane are joined at the hip, so often are they together.

"We hang out quite a bit, joke around, and I guess we keep each other sane. It's good having a close mate on tour."

I tell him that all New Zealanders would admire the way he'd kept at it after his father's death. In similar circumstances, ask yourself whether you could have carried on in such single-minded pursuit of a goal?

"The first thing I promised him when he passed away was that I'd wear the black jersey. I didn't think it would happen this early but it has. Now I don't want to take it for granted. I want to be a great All Black.

"It's helped me let out a lot of frustration, but the main one is just to get out there playing and have some fun with my mates. That's been a huge release for me. I'm here now and I want to stay here for the old man."

Before I let him dash off to his gym session, I ask him one final question. What would his dad have said to him at the end of this?

The eyes glass over a little. He takes a moment. "He would have said it in his own way, probably in a lot more manly way than me, but he would have said that he's bloody proud of me and now that I'm here I've got to stay here and keep working hard."

Somewhere, surely, a proud father smiles down on his son.