Rugby's most smartest people

Last updated 19:31 12/08/2008

I just couldn't resist. You've probably read some of these before, but I've just spent a few minutes pissing myself laughing so I thought I'd spread the joy.

Some of the best rugby quotes you'll ever read....

"Nobody in Rugby should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." - Jono Gibbs of the Chiefs tells it like it isn't.

"I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." - Rodney So'oialo of the Hurricanes on University

"You guys line up alphabetically by height" and "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle." - Hurricanes head coach Colin Cooper.

Chris Masoe of the Hurricanes on whether he had visited the Pyramids during his visit to Egypt: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."

"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is." - Colin Cooper on Paul Tito

Auckland's Kevin Senio on night rugby vs day games: "It's basically the same, just darker."

David Nucifora (Auckland) talking about Troy Flavell: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'David, I don’t know and I don't care.'"

Hurricane David Holwell, when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to reach for 150 or 200 points this season, whichever comes first."

"Andy Ellis - the 21 year old, who turned 22 a few weeks ago." - commentator Murray Mexted.

"Colin has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator." - Ma Nonu sums it up.

"He scored that try after only 22 seconds - totally against the run of play." - Murray Mexted, again.

"We actually got the winning try three minutes from the end but then they scored." - Phil Waugh from the Warratahs.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." - Jerry Collins.

"That kick was absolutely unique, except for the one before it which was identical." - Tony Brown

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." - Tana Umaga narrows down his parents.

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in rugby - but none of them serious." - Doc Mayhew, a real doctor can tell.

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." - Anton Oliver, gentleman and scholar.

"I would not say he (Rico Gear) is the best left winger in the Super 14, but there are none better." - Murray Mexted, yet again.

"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat." - the diplomatic Ewan McKenzie.

Murray Deaker: "Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?" Tana Umaga: "On what?"

"Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw." - bless Murray Mexted.

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." - Murray Mexted, the most smartest commentator.

Post a comment
BigDog   #1   10:41 pm Aug 12 2008


Benjamin   #2   10:47 am Aug 13 2008

RICO GEAR!!! At least despite making an ass of himself, Mexmeitster Murray at least got one thing right...

mccav   #3   03:28 pm Aug 15 2008

Those are not real quotes.

That email was doing the rounds a couple of years ago. And a couple of years before that there was an email with exactly the same quotes but from people all over the world, from all different sports. Someone over here just took the same quotes and put rugby player's names on them.

Funny quotes, but a load of BS

Enoch   #4   05:59 pm Aug 17 2008

The Mexted ones are real, I remember hearing them myself haha.

Jerry   #5   08:49 am Aug 19 2008

Enoch - you're imagining it, the Mexted ones are just as made up as all the others. I've seen them attributed to English football commentators, American Football commentators, Formula 1's Murray Walker....

JJ   #6   11:09 pm Aug 20 2008

To those of you who say these are phoney are just kidding yourself out of a good laugh. The Tana Umaga quote is without a doubt genuine, in his good-bye speech if emory serves me correctly. Nonu was quoted in the Herald (I could be wrong, possibly another publication) with his. These kinds of things do circulate and it's quite possible that these rugby 'genuises' just read them and they stuck. Mexted probably did get his quotes from an e-mail so Enoch isn't imagining it but Jerry is also correct.

Jerry   #7   03:26 pm Aug 21 2008

JJ - Then it's just a coincidence that the exact same quote from Tana has been attributed to (among others) Greg Norman and gymnast Paul Hamm as far back as 2004? In lists of other quotes that are identical to the other ones listed? Including the Nonu one?

They're all fake. Some of them may have been said by someone back in the mists of time, but none of them are attributable to any rugby player.

Simon   #8   03:12 pm Aug 26 2008

Jerry is 100% right on this - a lot of the quotes are from American sports people from as far back as the 1960s. In some cases the quotes have been changed to be more relevant to rugby, but alas, they are not original. Still a good laugh though.

limerick   #9   10:25 am Aug 27 2008

who gives a s**t if they,re real or not i think they're f*****g hilarious

babyallblack   #10   06:30 pm Oct 03 2008

Bloody hell!! Everyone stop trying to be noahs and juss have a laugh!! Geez so many politically correct people these days.. Im right, you're right, they're wrong - who cares!!!

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