I just couldn't resist. You've probably read some of these before, but I've just spent a few minutes pissing myself laughing so I thought I'd spread the joy.
Some of the best rugby quotes you'll ever read....
"Nobody in Rugby should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." - Jono Gibbs of the Chiefs tells it like it isn't.
"I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." - Rodney So'oialo of the Hurricanes on University
"You guys line up alphabetically by height" and "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle." - Hurricanes head coach Colin Cooper.
Chris Masoe of the Hurricanes on whether he had visited the Pyramids during his visit to Egypt: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is." - Colin Cooper on Paul Tito
Auckland's Kevin Senio on night rugby vs day games: "It's basically the same, just darker."
David Nucifora (Auckland) talking about Troy Flavell: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'David, I don’t know and I don't care.'"
Hurricane David Holwell, when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to reach for 150 or 200 points this season, whichever comes first."
"Andy Ellis - the 21 year old, who turned 22 a few weeks ago." - commentator Murray Mexted.
"Colin has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator." - Ma Nonu sums it up.
"He scored that try after only 22 seconds - totally against the run of play." - Murray Mexted, again.
"We actually got the winning try three minutes from the end but then they scored." - Phil Waugh from the Warratahs.
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." - Jerry Collins.
"That kick was absolutely unique, except for the one before it which was identical." - Tony Brown
"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." - Tana Umaga narrows down his parents.
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in rugby - but none of them serious." - Doc Mayhew, a real doctor too....you can tell.
"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." - Anton Oliver, gentleman and scholar.
"I would not say he (Rico Gear) is the best left winger in the Super 14, but there are none better." - Murray Mexted, yet again.
"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat." - the diplomatic Ewan McKenzie.
Murray Deaker: "Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?" Tana Umaga: "On what?"
"Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw." - bless Murray Mexted.
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." - Murray Mexted, the most smartest commentator.
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