Bow wow to 'Paw of Command'

Last updated 05:00 28/09/2012
King Barney

COULD YOU RESIST? Barney does his sad eyes.

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Our dog Barney is very much loved and has it so much easier than our last dog, who was strictly an outside animal.

I think it's partly because our last dog was run over right in front of me due to my impatience, and it took 12 years for us to replace him. I still feel guilt and sadness about the way I treated him, so Barney is treated very well.

He's walked at least once daily, gets good food instead of mostly scraps, and is allowed in (or out) of the house pretty much whenever he likes.

The exception to this is when he's bored at 3am and does his little routine to be let out to see if there are any pesky cats on 'his' lawn so he can bark at them.

His routine consists of first standing by the bed doing a little tap-dance, this is then escalated to shaking himself vigorously so his collar rattles loudly. If that fails, he pokes me with his nose. Next is tapping the bed with "The Paw of Command".

If none of this results in action, he runs around to the other side of the bed to try my wife. A last resort (because by then I've usually been told to let him out) is to jump on top of us.

The Paw of Command gets much exercise in our house, being used to get doors opened for King Barney, food delivered to his bowl, or treats to his mouth.

Games are incited by one being poked (often in the groin) with the toy du jour.

If ignored and bored, Barney will remove a towel from his table of stuff and dump it on the floor. Then another and another, until someone chases him around or throws a ball.

Barney loves walks and water, so much so that one must spell "W-A-L-K" or say "bee-ach" if either is in not immediately in the offing.

After either a shower is usually necessary, because he also loves getting dirty.

Luckily, as soon as he's home, he'll get in the shower and wait for his wash.

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