Parent trap battle scars: Don't turn your back
KELLY DE ROOY
I'm a mum to a four-year-old girl, a seven-month-old son, a 16-year-old and an 11-year-old stepson.
Out of all of them, my four-year-old daughter is the most full on. Not only is she full on, but she's a methodical opportunist.
The photo here shows what she did to the kitchen floor in the space of time it took me to feed my seven-month-old son and put him down for a nap - about 15 minutes.
As you can see, she got creative with flour, cocoa powder and food colouring and made a nice mural on the kitchen floor and carpet of our rental house.
You'd think this would be an isolated incident but no, she did this twice in one week.
Some of her specialities include cracking raw eggs on the bedroom carpet, writing on the walls with permanent black marker, and locking both her and myself in to her bedroom where we remain trapped until someone comes home and lets us out.
You might think all of this means she's a little monster but no, all of this actually means I suck at parenting and have yet to learn how to wrangle children before they take over the world.
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