My silent fight against food
My battle with food began as a kid. I was always the short, chubby kid who wasn't good at sports. I enjoyed art and music and had a happy nature. But I dreaded swimming sports and having to show my chubby body.
By the time I was 14 I had full blown food issues. I would only eat certain food groups and socially my life was quickly spiralling out of control. The next eight years were a blur of getting kicked out of three schools, doing drugs and petty crimes such as stealing. To be honest I'm lucky I'm not in jail.
I'm 24 years old, I've been clean from P for over two years, and I have bulimia.
Even that sentence doesn't sound like me. But I guess I have to face it, I'm an ex-addict and I have an eating disorder.
The reason this is called the silent battle is because unlike many other addicts or people with eating disorders, you would never guess by looking at me. I have a good job, good friends and family, and I kept both my drug addiction, and now this, very, very quiet. Everyday I go to work with my calorie-counted food for the day, and then every night I go home, binge and purge. I feel disgusted with myself for becoming who I am, I never thought my food issues could turn into something so real.
The bulemia has ruined my teeth. I have just spent over $3000 having them repaired but the enamel is shot from purging over and over again.
My new year's resolution was to finally beat bulemia. So far this is a battle that I'm not winning and I know the long-term effects it's having on my health are devastating.
I want to raise awareness for people like me. For people who don't feel they have a voice or anyone to turn to. For people that are 'functioning' yet suffering silently.
I want to thank the woman who wrote 'I starved myself for 14 years' for speaking out about her battle with anorexia, you are so brave and are an inspiration to other people who are also suffering. You are an inspiration to me that there is light at the end of that tunnel.
The name of this author has been withheld to protect her identity.
View all contributions
Are you a fan of The Bachelor NZ?Related story: (See story)