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First date disaster: Dutch courage gone wrong

DIANA MACRAE
Last updated 05:00 24/02/2013

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Some years back I was single, late 40s, and giving internet dating a try. I began exchanging messages with a very nice sounding gentleman. We discussed all manner of topics and he seemed very intelligent and articulate. After several weeks of internet exchange, we decided to meet for a drink.

I dressed carefully and arrived at the bar, a little nervous, but really looking forward to the prospect of meeting an interesting new man who I seemed to have a lot in common with.

Thanks to a photo exchange we recognised each other immediately, but I was somewhat taken aback when it quickly became obvious that he had started the drinks some time before I arrived. I wasn't too impressed, but decided to give him a chance, maybe he was also nervous and had downed a few drinks to steady his nerves.

We found a seat and he immediately began to talk about his ex-wife and her various 'problems'. I was pretty uncomfortable with this and tried to steer the conversation to other topics, but he was pretty keen to get back on to the failed marriage. He continued drinking quite heavily and his eyes drifted more and more often to my front. Eventually he blurted, "god you've got magnificent tits!"

I was speechless and had to restrain myself from giggling. I glanced at my watch and suggested that it was probably time I was leaving.

"Oh thas ok," he slurred, "that beauudiful girl in the red dress is making me really horny".

He stood and gravely offered to shake hands before he staggered off down the bar towards the girl, who must have been all of 30 years his junior. I was tempted to stick round to watch him getting slapped but by this time I could no longer contain myself and left the bar laughing so hard that tears were rolling down my face!


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