Dating disasters: Uh, I don't swing that way

Last updated 05:00 20/02/2014

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This particular date night was one I have tried hard to stash in the darkest recesses of my mind, it was such a shocker.

We met through a friend of a friend at a BBQ, many years ago now. He was elegantly beautiful - sort of a movie star meets businessman. He was picture perfect. Or so it seemed.

Not only was he educated, funny and smelt amazing - he seemed smitten with me and who doesn't like when that happens? He was attentive, witty and we had a lot of laughs at our very first meeting.

From there, he did everything right.

He got my address off our mutual friend and sent flowers to say he loved meeting me.

He invested a lot of time in his pursuit, I will give him that.

There were meals and drinks out, parties attended, movies, ice skating - I really thought I had met a winner.

And everyone said we looked good together. It felt great.

After about six weeks he said we had yet another party invite and was I interested? I'd have gone to the opening of a phonebook with him had he asked, so a party was never an issue.

I set to glamming myself up. It  was a new crowd, mostly people I'd not yet met, so I wanted to impress. 

He picked me up, said I looked gorgeous, and we headed into a suburb that was affluent and picturesque. I recall how impressed I was with the people he hung out with. He seemed very well connected. 

Upon arrival we were plied with hugs, air kisses and, oddly, I had my face stroked by one of the women who was at the door.

I wrote it off as a person who was overly touchy-feely.

We were then told to help ourselves to drinks and boy were they generous hosts! It didn't seem to matter what one wanted, it was all there, including drugs. It was like something out of a movie.

I confess to being reasonably naive in my younger days so this display kind of freaked me out, but I was trying my best to handle it and hang with the cool kids.

I also glued myself to Mr Perfect's side. For all the good it did me.

Mr Perfect set to introducing me to everyone, and gosh they were friendly. I lost count of the kisses and gropes I had. I like to be part of a crowd, but I do recall thinking it was a little odd.

About the time I was feeling super about everything it all started to unravel.

Mr Perfect disappeared, leaving me (literally) in the clutches of a very hot, female, guest at the party.

Initially, she had done introduced me around it was nice to have a friendly face amid the new ones.

Then there was the moment I found her hand on my arse.

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And her husband attached to hers, whilst eyeing up mine.

Should I go on?

Suffice to say, Mr Perfect and I weren't so much of a happening thing from thereon in.

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