READER REPORT:

Loving a 'childfree not childless' life

AMY BOWYER
Last updated 05:00 26/01/2015
Baby's face

TOUGH CHOICE: "I would never forgive myself if I wasn't the model parent for a child," says Amy.

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Choosing not to have children

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Childfree not childless. I emphasise the "free" part of that.

The world is becoming fuelled by more greed, power, money and technology at a mind-blowing pace. Long gone are the days of a safe, simple life in the city of Auckland I once knew as that.

We can't choose our parents and I would never forgive myself if I wasn't the model parent for a child. I couldn't guarantee it wouldn't be hurt or sick or hard-done by, either by myself or someone in society that they're supposed to trust.

They cannot be protected by the unpredictable evils of this world.

I once owned a house. I once had a husband. Life changes and nothing is predictable. An unstable environment, in a rental property is something I wouldn't want for a child.

READ MORE: 

* Understanding childlessness

* We don't hate kids, we just don't want them

* Stuck on the baby-go-round

I've never been maternal, and at 35 years of age, that's not going to change. 

My skin crawls when I hear a screaming child, especially when I'm trying to relax in a public place like a cafe. It's a constant demand and dependency on a parent, especially the mother. I couldn't handle that eternal "locked in" aspect.

Even if I did have an endless supply of money to provide a nanny and quality education, it's the simple act of spontaneity that goes out the window.

I grew up in an abusive household with a sick sibling, so I guess my own upbringing has shaped my views.

Irrespective, even spending time with parents (most of them solo mums, which is another common factor - the fathers can up and leave when the going gets tough, and they do. Never the other way around.) - it stresses me out watching the constant battle of something as basic as bedtime.

At the moment, I'm free to go where I choose when I want, see concerts, the world, buy shoes, nice food, go to the gym and not have to complain about stretchmarks or anything else that's loosened from the whole child-birthing/rearing experience.

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I will forever remain free of such a burden.

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