Why I gave up after 4380 joints
How have drugs affected your life?
I am 46 years old and smoked marijuana daily from the age of 28 to 40.
Every day I would look forward to 9.30pm. As a shy, introverted person who was constantly fearful of others, I lodged my next day's agenda during my serene high, every day.
My children would be tucked in their beds sleeping and my husband would sit with me discussing my avoidance activities for the day.
He would constantly complain about the smell that would linger on me from my "art of toking", as he would put it. He would giggle at this grownup who would sneak out to the furthest secluded corner in the back yard just to get a dose of her "sleeping remedy".
My husband, my best friend, knows the beauty within me and for years he encouraged me to give up my habit. But I had to come to terms with sexual abuse I'd suffered as a child, and the memory of my mother and brothers suffering physical abuse.
Most importantly I had to embrace the knowledge and trust that my children were safe. He told me constantly that I was a superb mum and I told him that he was a superb dad.
I loved marijuana, I was so indebted to the mental peace it gave me. I did not have the lethargic and dizziness I suffered after taking sleeping pills.
But I gave up marijuana for these reasons:
1) During my time as a high achiever my memory slid off the rails drastically. Six years later I still need to write down my password, cellphone, pin numbers, etc.
2) I had developed an "it's not my problem" attitude. As long as you left me and my family alone, well, bugger it!
3) The news was a no-no to watch or read. The world was too depressing.
4) My teenagers. I hope that they don't find out that I was a user. A fully developed brain can be damaged by marijuana. So teens, please think about what it can do to an undeveloped brain. I will never get back the memory I had as a young adult. 365 joints x 12 years = 4380 joints. I'm not proud that I didn't make this revelation until I was 40.
We can't continue with a "bugger it" attitude. Our youth are our future and we need them focused.
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