Fighting chronic pain, and winning
Living with an invisible illness
I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.
For a year and a half, my elbow hurt insanely. I couldn't even pick up a glass of water with my left arm.
Then I started getting more pains, chronic neck pain and tension headaches, foot pains so bad I spent a month not going outside and I wouldn't shower or take a step with bare feet.
I struggled to sleep. I thought I had it worse than everyone else.
My only goal was to, manage pain, avoid pain, treat pain, think about pain, research a cure for pain.
I was given pain meds I didn't want in a hope that it would just go away. I didn't take them much, even though I was constantly aching.
I was pissed off about how the doctors would look at me.
My pain was reflected in what I ate, what I wore, and how I walked or moved.
Physical treatments did't do anything, yet I was still going for various treatments that might be baby steps towards healing myself.
Finally I realised the only cure would be directing my energy elsewhere.
I saw a hypnotherapist in Lower Hutt, and I read the book 'Healing Back Pain' by John Sarno - a doctor who cured thousands of people from chronic pain.
I started integrating myself into a normal life. I told myself that I'd do it no matter what, I'd force myself.
The trick was letting go of my pain, not making attempts to treat it. No more avoiding activities. No more trying to get the perfect sleeping posture or sitting posture.
No more painkillers or supplements to try to cure or ease the pain. No more massages or osteopaths. No more labels.
No more defining myself as a victim or a sufferer of a mysterious ailment, especially one that doesn't have any organic basis.
I just directed my energy into what I wanted to do, now, and moved towards that.
The book works on the statement that chronic pains and illnesses are the results of fear of activity and suppressed (emotions) rage. When you acknowledge this and return to normal activities without fear, your ailments will go away.
You then have to let go of your victim mindset.
That book, a supportive network and emotional therapy / hypnosis cured me of all my invisible pains and sensitivities.
I was lifting weights and running within a week of letting go of my pain.
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