Teen sex: Young love needs boundaries

Last updated 05:01 27/03/2013

TEEN SEX: Where do you stand if your teen is under 16 and wanting to have sex?

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We asked our readers to share their thoughts on letting their teenager's boyfriend or girlfriend stay over.

My eldest is only a 12-year-old boy, but this is a discussion I have had with my sister, whose daughters are now 20 and 21 respectfully, and her sensibility in this area will guide my decisions and discussions with my sons.

Effectively, when her eldest was 15 years old and dating a young man a few years older, they were called to dinner, and the 'talk' was had. Embarrassing all around, but the ground rules were stipulated as totally not negotiable.

The rule was that if he touched her daughter before her 16th birthday, he would be charged with statutory rape, even if she was willing. But, if he could respect her until her upcoming birthday, then, with the agreement of his parents too (he lived at home), he would be welcome to stay over on non-school nights, as long as contraception was dealt with.

By the time my niece was 17 years old, her mum bought an old caravan and placed that in the backyard for them to share. Now, six years later, that young couple has just bought a house, and they are planning a wedding.

Sadly, not all youth relationships go that way, so enforcing respect ensured that her daughter(s) weren't just used for their bodies, and then dumped.

This is the message I will give my sons too. A little scary, but true. 

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