READER REPORT:

'I am not defined by a relationship status'

LIBBY MORRIS
Last updated 05:00 14/07/2014
couple
TWO PLUS TWO: Equals just two, individuals.

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Life as a single girl can be challenging, to say the least, but not for the reasons you might initially think.

Daily I am faced with pressure from society, from a world in which being part of a couple is what defines a happy life.

For some it's what they believe defines being a successful adult - the white picket fence and 2.5 kids. Anything less seems unacceptable.

Our society is continuously trying to convince single girls and those around them that they cannot truly be happy without a man, without their other half.

I beg to differ.

Since ending a long term relationship in my early 20s, I have tried and failed on many occasions to find this elusive other half.

I have found halves that sort of fit, halves that definitely didn't fit, and of course the halves that I wished would fit.

I too have been fooled by a ridiculous idea that I am just a half, waiting to be completed.

I have struggled with feeling unsuccessful, incomplete and sometimes even worthless as I watch more and more of my friends start to settle down.

But when I push society's views from my head and dig deep within myself, I realise I wouldn't change my situation for the world.

Having been single for a significant period of my adult life means that I have had time to work on me. I am stronger than I might have been and more sure of what I want from life.

Like many do before they settle down, I have travelled the world, learnt interesting new skills, met amazing people and taken charge of my own life in so many ways.

I have become a whole in my own right.

I am not defined by a relationship status. I stand on my own two feet. I am me. That is powerful.

My ultimate goal is not to find my other half but to find a man who is also capable of standing on his own two feet. One who does not need me to complete him but one who wants me to stand with him in this crazy mixed up world.

Instead of becoming one whole, we would become a Venn diagram of utter brilliance. Two wholes, with love as our glue.

Single or taken, ask yourself, what have you done today to ensure that you are still you? Or to ensure that you are the best version of you there is? Have you built the foundations of your own beliefs and values deep enough that you still stand for them?

What have you done to make sure that if the worst comes to worst, you too will be able to stand on your own two feet?

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My advice: don't get so busy searching for, or being with, your other half that you forget to be a whole in your own right.

Venn diagrams, not fractions.


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