Mum's tears over battle to beat bullies

Last updated 08:00 18/08/2014

FRUSTRATING: It's hard to see your child being punished for reacting, while the bullies seem to get away with it.

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For children to succeed they need good foundations. I believe my husband and I are doing ok on that front at home. What isn't doing well is their school.

The years of continual bullying and the lack of response from the school, MoE and other parents makes our efforts seem fruitless.

I have told the Ministry how it is a proven fact that young Maori males are most at risk for criminal offending and youth suicide, yet they still claim that a violent school enviroment is the best place for our children. How do you willingly send a child into that?

We have worked relentlessly to help our children and those that bully ours, and to say our children are innocent would mean we are blind. That we are not.

We know that ALL children at some point will partake in bullying to some degree. But what I cannot come to terms with is when a child is strangled by another student, kicked extremely hard in the back as he walks away ... and still nothing changes at school.

When your child finally explodes into a tantrum because the days of non-stop harassment continue and nothing is done, so your child is punished yet again for reacting, you begin to feel deflated. Useless. Helpless.

How can we tell our children things will be ok and the bullies will be dealt with when it seems to never happen, as all people see is the victim's reaction.

How can we say it is going to be alright when the victim is further punished by being stood down for giving in to their emotions and frustrations? Is being sensitive a crime? Is being called names daily alright? Is being assaulted tolerated? Are you no longer allowed to stand up for yourself when these things occur?

We get told they are dealing with it. But they aren't. We can see that the same kids, day after day, keep it up. Four years, yes four years of this.

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Aside from us trying the best we can, if there is no support from the school or MoE then we are left high and dry. The victim is again left feeling as though they have done wrong because Mum and Dad can't help them, can't protect them.

How many times I have cried for our children, and no-one seems to care. The last few weeks have been sleepless, full of sadness and frustration. My mind is constantly thinking how I change or help everyone in all this.

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I want our children to do well in life and be given the same opportunities as everyone else but we are being brickwalled by those who should be going to extremes to help us.  

I have asked to be heard about my concerns and told all I am doing is laying blame. How is it laying blame when I am doing everything in my power to help our children? I am ringing asking for help, I am begging for more to be done. 

I am sick of being told to let the school deal with it. I am exhausted, I am heartbroken, I am angry, I am lost. So imagine how our children feel.

How can I carry on like this? How can I expect our children to grow into the lovely caring people I know they can be if this continues?

I can not do it anymore. I will not wait until any of our children are seriously hurt or self harm to be heard.

How I vote this year I do not know, but I am thinking hard.


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