Mothers must unite, not judge

Last updated 10:43 26/03/2013
Harried mother
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MOTHERHOOD: Let's support, not judge each other.

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I've been a mother for three and a half years, now with two children, and throughout the journey I've realised something - other mothers are the quickest to judge you.

The recent "Baby left in car" news story that turned into a national slander of an unknown mother, even making international news, is a prime example.

Yes, the mother was wrong to leave the child in the car unattended. But did the situation warrant an international news story, and to be spread all over social media with everyone having their say?

Couldn't a talk to the mother suffice? The nation could have caused more harm than good for the baby, who knows what state the mother is in after such an international public humiliation.

I meet many other mothers in my travels between kindy, playcentre, antenatal, music groups, swimming and online as well.

Everywhere I go I hear others being judged or myself being judged.

Mothers are seemingly judged for all decisions they make: Do they stay at home, or go to work? Do they use cry it out methods or rock their baby to sleep? Do they breastfeed or formula feed?

Motherhood is already the hardest and most guilt ridden job a woman faces in her life, yet we as society decide that they must also face the guilt from every person who decides they are 'not doing it right'.

We need to remember, as mothers, the tiredness, frustration and mental blur that raising children can be, and be a little less quick to judge and a lot faster to support, understand and help those that are in need or just having a bad day.

It use to take a village to raise a child, grandparents would be home to help share the load and everyone knew their neighbours enough to borrow a cup of sugar, that's no longer the NZ we live in. We as mothers need to unite, offer help where we can and realise that most mothers are striving towards a common goal - to do what's best for their child.

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