How Justin Bieber ruined tattoos
Message to Justin Bieber: Stop getting tattoos. Now.
In fact, take your body in and get all current tattoos removed. You only have 15 of them at the latest count so it shouldn't take too long or be too painful.
While you're at it why don't you apologise to everyone out there with tattoos for degrading this fine form of body art?
My problem with Bieber's tattoos is this: Tattoos used to be cool. In times gone by a tattoo was the dominion of burly sailors traversing the seven seas. Tattoos were then taken up by members of the armed forces, gangs, and other guys you wouldn't want to mess with. And then rock stars got in on the act.
Rock, heavy metal, gangster rap, tattoos flourished in these groups and added to the image portrayed by its members. Tattoos expressed non-conformity, a rebellious streak, a certain attitude.
Now we have Justin Bieber getting inked up on a regular basis. This is a guy who thinks it's cool to speed around on a Segway and drive a leopard print car.
A guy who rose to fame singing songs on the internet and whose only song I know is due to my friend's 5-year-old daughter singing it incessantly in the car every time we go somewhere.
Justin Bieber you are probably the un-coolest person I can think of in the universe and because of you, my plans for my own tattoo have been shelved.
Who wants to get a tattoo when Justin Bieber has 15 of them and his only fans are pre-pubescent girls who aren't even old enough to buy a packet of cigarettes?
My tattoo would have been great. It would have had meaning. It would have been tasteful. And so it should have been for it took me 17 years to come up with the perfect design. After all, tattoos are permanent. I can only hope Bieber's fame is not.
And what of Bieber's tattoos? How much thought did he put into them? What do the Roman Numerals 1, 9, 7 and 5 mean (I, IX, VII and V)? If you meant to have the year 1975 then you should have stayed in school a while longer where you might have learned that 1975 is actually MCMLXXV.
What of the owl on your arm or, the tiger, or the fish? Are you creating your own wildlife park on your body? And surely you know that tattooing your (ex) girlfriend, Selena Gomez, wearing angel wings on your wrist is just asking for trouble?
For the sake of everyone out there Bieber, stop getting ink. Return tattoos to the realm of the cool, the drunk and the brave.
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