READER REPORT:

Flatmates of the pranking kind

PENNY DARWIN
Last updated 05:00 28/06/2014
PATE
JAN BILTON
PARTY FAVOUR: Keep your hands off our cat food.

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The flats nightmares are made of

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Around 1980, I used to spend a lot of time at my brother's flat, as mine wasn't as interesting.

The building was condemned.

There was a swamp underneath the floor into which the kitchen and bathroom plumbing drained.

One winter the flatmates burned the old picket fence to keep warm.

There were always pranks.

One flatmate put chocolate raisins in her sister's bed. The sister staggered home after a good party, collapsed into bed, and then on awakening in the night, discovered the melted chocolate raisins. Thinking she had created the mess she burst into tears.

The sister who pulled that prank always used my brother's shampoo, he warned her not to, she persisted, and finally he filled the shampoo bottle with oil. Sure enough she nicked his shampoo again and ended up with a terrible mess in her hair, when there was no more hot water, and she was about to go out.

Surprisingly, the sisters stayed good friends of ours and later were my bridesmaids.

One day I arrived at the flat to find my brother and another flatmate hiding in the kitchen, doubled up with laughter. They had put silver nitrate salt, which is explosive, on the footpath outside the flat and had been watching people step on it.

These two guys also thought it was funny to let out expletives and profanities when people knocked on the door, until one day they saw Girl Guides who were selling biscuits walking away.

At a flat party, the guys asked people not to nick the supper, which was pate on crackers. When the guests didn't comply, they put cat food on the crackers. Sure enough, the supper was nicked again. A fight nearly broke out when the guests were told the pate they thought they were eating was cat food.

At another party, when guests were having such a good time that they overstayed their welcome, stink bombs were let off and Marmite smeared over the toilet.


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