Two faces of Father's Day

Last updated 05:05 08/09/2013
TWO FACES: I'll always enjoy father's day - but I won't be calling my own father.

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What does your Dad mean to you?

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Father's Day is always terrific for me.

As a dad, I am spoiled, loved, feted and treated well.

This year I felt particularly well treated.

My breakfast consisted of my favourite breakfast foods (too much cholesterol and saturated fat for everyday eating) and the card that my children gave me had a paragraph from each of them that moved me and I had a large lump in my throat. It was the best.

About ten years ago, after decades of rancour, my own father told me that I might have been aware that he had travelled through my town without calling in.

He told me that he wanted nothing more to do with me and that was that.

We had always had a bumpy road but we had come to the end of it. After I put the phone down, I went for a walk and, since then, I have become accepting of the situation; there is a lot of peace to be had in acceptance.

The situation is very sad but it is not the saddest thing.

The saddest thing is that the situation has become my preference now.

Looking back, although he did some great things that I remember with fondness, he did some very unpleasant things too and those unpleasant things are no longer happening.

I don't wish him any ill. I hope he has a safe and happy retirement and enjoys his twilight years. I will not be a feature of them.

Mine is not the only or even the saddest story around.

Many people were abandoned or abused by their fathers and Father's Day is tough for them, much tougher than it will ever be for me.

I'll continue to enjoy the cards from my children and the breakfasts from my wife - but I won't be phoning my father.

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